There's something so iconic about a children's movie that combines larger-than-life goblin puppets with bizarre backdrops and David Bowie in tights.
Of course, I'm talking about “Labyrinth,” the 1986 fantasy film about a goblin king who kidnaps a baby for no apparent reason.
I'm kidding, of course there's a reason. It's because the baby's snotty older sister wished he'd disappear. That semblance of plot doesn't make the movie any less weird, though.
The king forces the boy's teenage sister, played by Jennifer Connelly, to brave a ghoulish maze and steal her brother back.
The surreal movie impressed me, but primarily left me wondering why Bowie's package was so evident in a family-friendly film.
On the day after Bowie's death, it's challenging to consider the far-reaching impact his career had on the music industry.
What's also challenging, although not nearly as poignant, is considering the impact Jareth, the Goblin King, had on a generation's developing sexuality. He had panache, confidence and a wig that would make Cher proud.
The importance of stealing babies isn't the only lesson we can take away from "Labyrinth."
Bowie's character was to goblins what Naomi Campbell was to '90s supermodel culture.
No one has ever topped Jareth's bad boy style. Even women can learn a lot from him.
1. Never cut bangs. They will take a several millennia to grow out.
2. A sharply angled eyebrow is the most important part of any makeup look.
3. Don't spring for a nose job, just learn to contour.
4. Nude lipstick will never go out of style.
5. No one says blondes can't get even more bleached highlights. Striped hair will come back one day, guys.
6. When in doubt, tease your roots.
7. For the last time, leggings can be worn as pants.
8. A statement necklace completes any look.
9, Plunging necklines are entirely appropriate, even at work.
10. Capes aren't just for the fashion elite. They complement any ensemble.