Why You Should Celebrate Your Nonexistent Butt
Even though I was low-key self-conscious about my pads being crooked, it felt empowering AF… until I threw it in the wash.
When you're a WOB (woman without booty), you basically feel like a 12-year-old whenever you stand next to a gal with a voluptuous figure.
It's clear Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back" is definitely not your anthem.
Your back pretty much transitions directly to your legs because baby got NO junk in the trunk whatsoever. But it's all good.
When it comes down to it, life is way too short to keep wishing you had something you don't. And when that involves wishing you had a different kind of body, realize it's so superficial when compared to the actual problems going on in the world today.
Life is about celebrating what you DO have and making the most of it. Embrace your tiny booty and work what your mama gave you, gals.
Here are 12 reasons why you should celebrate your nonexistent butt:
1. Some girls have a peach emoji booty. Yours is more like the pancake emoji... but pancakes are still the real MVPs, too.
2. You can pretty much squeeze into any type of jeans, and your wardrobe is super fly. HELLOOOOOO boyfriend, skinny, slim fit and low-rise… you're lookin' fine.
3. You can shop in the kids' section for certain things and save a ton of money. Real talk: My nonexistent booty fits into kid's snowboarding pants… SO, I treated myself to two for the price of one women's pair.
4. Guys look into your eyes.... because there's not much else down there.
5. You can devour as many doughnuts as you like... because things are only looking up, right? #YOLO.
6. You don't usually have someone gawking at your booty… because you don't have one.
7. You can wear cheeky shorts and feel comfortable because you don't have any cheeks to fill them out.
8. When it comes to undies, being carefree in boy shorts works just fine because you have no curves.
9. You can squeeze into tiny places like a ninja.
10. Victoria's Secret usually has all the styles and colors left in your size, so there's not much competition there.
11. You can fit into mostly any plan by squeezing your booty into the middle seat of the car.
12. It may not be a huge part of the male population, but some guys like a tiny booty girl. HEY, as a matter of fact, I've never met one guy who's told me I was missing a booty.
Although your booty is certainly not a peach emoji, it should be celebrated for all it is... because why the heck not?! Love your body and appreciate it.