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Bethenny Frankel Get The Hell Out Of Here With Your Skinny Girl Weed

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Bethenny Frankel, creator of Skinnygirl cocktails empire (and reformed “Real Housewife” but we’ll get to that later), is rumored to be concocting a line of “Skinnygirl marijuana.”

“It will be a specially engineered strain of pot designed to not give you the munchies,” an insider close to Bethenney told Us Weekly.

Wait, seriously?

In the wise words of Damien from "Mean Girls," “You don’t even go here.” Please, Bethenney. Don’t ruin a good thing.

People who enjoy cannabis are passionate about it; they’re not going to partake in some weird diet version. It’s like adding partially hydrogenated oils to your food. It’s not meant to be there.

The only mix of Bethenney Frankel and marijuana that we take pleasure in is watching old school reruns of “Real Housewives of New York” while lighting up a joint and letting our minds shut-off to be entertained for a while.

From that moment in her career right up until her bombed television show, one thing has always been clear: Bethenney Frankel is a self-serving business player and a fame-monger. In the case of her dabblings with marijuana, she’s in the wrong business. Stick to Hollywood, Frankel.

If she really is conspiring with cannabis, she’s playing to the wrong audience. People who follow Bethenney Frankel, a loud-mouthed television personality, aren’t the same people who consume weed (especially not if they’re binging on anything marketed as “skinnygirl.”)

Here’s why Bethenney Frankel needs to stay out of the weed game:

1. People intentionally smoke marijuana to make their food taste better

A 2014 study confirmed that pot enhances the way food tastes and smells. Researchers found that THC meshes with the olfactory bulb in the brain and combines with its cannabinoid receptors, which in turn, magnifies your sense of smell. Why take away such an amazing sensory gift?

If you’re going out to a nice dinner, you want to be able to eat more! It’s like in “The Hunger Games” when Katniss visits The Capitol for the first time and the citizens are ingesting liquids that allow them to indulge more (albeit by throwing up, but that’s why marijuana is such a great alternative).

Bethenney Frankel’s altered weed is altering an incredible culinary experience. Christina Tosi of Momofuku Milk Bar (and their outrageous birthday cakes) acknowledged in The New York Times that her clever desserts appeal to stoners who are experiencing this altered state. “You like to eat stuff with texture and that is really deep in flavors. You want the ultimate sensory experience,” she said.

Why alter this wonderful, pleasant attribute of pot, Bethenney? Why take away a whole culinary culture?

2. People who drink Skinnygirl aren’t smoking pot

They’re the people who have more ‘active’ things to do than get high. They don’t like the feels that they get from pot, especially after that one time when they binge-drank Skinnygirl margaritas at the summer BBQ and totally tweaked about the added agave.

The Skinnygirl consumers are suburban housewifey moms (no judgment, moms. We love you.) and borderline-neurotic, not-chill college girls who don’t want to gain the Junior Jiggles from drinking literally every night. The last thing either of these groups wants to do is smoke pot and become “mixed up in a bad scene” or “addicted to drugs.”

Bethenney is trying to insert herself into a market that’s misaligned with her trademark consumer. Stoners aren’t into Bethenney’s platform. They don’t like shrieking college girls and modified plants.

3. “Helps you stay thin” does not fall within marijuana’s uses

Bethenney is sending the wrong message if she’s really altering pot to help people stay skinny. It’s corrupting an already fragile subject and tying it with vanity. Marijuana is not another product in the diet market.

She will cheapen the plant’s benefits if she slaps it with those off-label uses.

4. Don’t f*ck with nature

We’re so used to chemically-altered meat, GMO apples and juices from concentrate. When you mess with nature, you mess with people’s bodies. Why manipulate an already beautiful, natural product? And in service of dieting?