Lifestyle

9 Not-So-Cute Things That Happen To You At Your Boyfriend’s Place

by Samantha Lebbos

There comes a time in your life when you find a man you love spending every second with. You love going to his place, hugging him, kissing him and just being with him.

It's also great when he feels the same way because when he invites you over, you gladly prance your way to his place.

At first, you see each other every couple days and then you start going on serious dates and spending even more time together.

All of a sudden, you find yourself spending days at a time at his place. Your weekends are with him and you survive with whatever you have with you at the time.

Isn’t it weird how the girl usually always ends up at the her boyfriend's house? It’s probably because guys are afraid of white sheets, candles and cleanliness.

Spending more and more time in your significant other's dungeon is hard. It’s hard because you can’t do those private things you do at home while at you're at your boyfriends and it can be annoying.

Ultimately, you get through it because you’re the best girlfriend ever!

Here are nine things that are bound to happen when you spend more time at your significant other's place:

1. You get your period

Honestly why the f*ck doesn’t he have tampons?” “Oh my god, my cramps are killing me, but I am just going to smile and look cute even though I probably look like a constipated clown." “I am going to bleed everywhere. Dear god, help.”

You menstruate once a month for five days, so yes, this is bound to happen.

You won't be able to sleep at night because you're afraid you'll leak in his bed.

Mother Nature could honestly care less if you were eating dinner with the Pope while wearing all white. You will get your period (unless you’re pregnant).

I have learned to keep five tampons in my purse at a time because my “I need Gatorade; I am going to the store” excuse doesn’t work anymore.

2. You learn to live out of a little bag

Ah, yes, my purse. My bag is my lifesaver. I'm a combination of a contemporary Mary Poppins and a mom because I have everything in my purse: tampons, makeup remover, face wash, pimple cream, deodorant, concealer, ChapStick, mascara, lipstick and Tums.

I also have aspirin in case someone annoys me and I feel a headache coming on. Better safe than sorry, right.

Why do I have all of these things in my purse? Because I want to feel as comfortable as possible without bombarding my significant other with all of my sh*t in his bathroom.

Have you seen that episode of "Sex and the City" when Big returns Carrie’s things?

3. You have to go "number two"

As if life couldn’t get any scarier, right? You guys ordered that pizza and you decided to eat more than you could handle.

Then, you order Thai food and you eat two orders of crab rangoon (you were hungry; it's okay.)

You two are on the couch watching a movie and then it happens: You have to poop. For the guys reading this: Yes, girls do in fact poop… glitter hehe.

Anyway, the last time this happened to me, I started to sweat. I really had no clue what to do.

I contemplated on taking the dog outside and sh*tting right next to her, but then I remembered I'm human.

Luckily, the feeling went away after I popped two Tums in my mouth. And you guys were wondering why I had Tums.

My motto: It's better to have Tums than sh*t outside with the dog.

If you really can’t hold it in, just remember: courtesy flush always a plus. Then blame it on the dog.

4. You get pimples

...And that’s all you will think about. If you don’t carry pimple cream with you, you know for a fact your new third eye will look terrible in the morning.

This isn’t much of a big deal since he won’t notice it. Or if you and your significant other are the “anything goes” type, he can pop your pimple as a fun activity.

As for me, I believe guys don’t wash their hands as much as girls do, so I’d rather take care of my pimples myself.

5. You feel ugly (at least once)

You’re going to wake up one morning and feel greasy and gross. It happens, ladies. You have hair that grows and you sweat.

The good news is, he won’t notice because guys are delusional. Just throw your hair up in a ponytail, wash your face, brush your teeth and carry on.

You could always ask if he wants to come to your place so you could shower, too. Guys can be caring and will do anything t0 make their girls smile.

6. You get hungry

...And he won’t have anything in the fridge. Bummer. Are you hungry or bored? Definitely hungry because you could never be bored when you have your hottie lingering around you; it's free eye candy.

When I get hungry, I usually just blurt out “I’m hungry.” Yes, even when it’s 11 pm. Just bring snacks over to your significant other's place as a little present — aka snacks for yourself.

7. You get sick

You could feel hungover or actually wake up sick and the worst part is, you’re not in your own bed.

The best part about waking up hungover next to your boyfriend/girlfriend is you always have someone to get Bloody Mary’s with.

There is no "best part" of waking up actually sick. Just go home and sleep in your own bed. You’ll be much happier there.

8. You fall asleep first

If you do this, you will feel like you left the party early. Unless you two have been dating forever, this may feel odd at first because you want to spend every waking moment with your partner.

You probably don't have anything to do anyway, so shut those eyes and sleep away.

9. You wake up first

.... And you’ll be bored. Should you just leave and go home at this point? You know he’s going to be asleep until noon anyway.

But no, you tough it out and force yourself back to sleep. Or, you could be nice and make breakfast. But really, you're too comfortable and don't want to get up.

Looking on the bright side of things, let’s hope your boyfriend knows you get your period every month, you do in fact go number two and most importantly, you’re human.

All of these things will happen. You just have to keep on truckin'.