7 Compliments That Are Actually Offensive To Women And All Men Should Stop Using
Compliments are great. And yes, many women can’t get enough of them. However, something that might seem like a perfect, first-date icebreaker may make a dramatic turn.
Many ladies are awesome at twisting words into something demeaning to use as ammo against the complimentor in a future argument. It’s a very common disorder and the earlier you identify yourself as a offender, the better off you'll be.
Here are seven insults, carefully wrapped up into compliments and tied with a red bow of sarcasm and charm. Enjoy, handle with care and don’t say any of these comments to a woman, unless you want a dirty look headed straight your way:
1. "You’re so cute/bubbly!"
Ah, “bubbly”: The word in itself is horrid, as it sounds like a well-rounded, plosive, overly loud and annoying figure. When you use this word to describe a woman, you’re basically saying she’s too loud, too annoying, too hyper or all of the above. Calling her “bubbly” is akin to saying that her intelligence and independence is "cute."
Alternative: Keep it clean and try, “You’re a confident woman and I like that about you,” instead.
2. "You clean up well!"
So, you're saying that on every other day, I look like sh*t? Even if you actually meant to tell a girl how beautiful she looks in a dress, she will twist it and assume you meant that she looks like a mess at all other times. Fail and fail.
Alternative: Keep is short and simple with, “You look beautiful” or “You look gorgeous.”
3. Any sentence that ends with “… for a girl.”
If you were even remotely acquainted with the feminist lore of the modern world, you wouldn’t dare such rubbish to cross your lips. Sexist faux compliments like, “you’re so funny, for a girl” or “you’re really clever, for a girl” are absolutely not okay to say to a woman. Think about it: By speaking such archaic words, you’re actually saying that we are not funny or clever or cool or smart compared to all your male friends.
Alternative: Ditch “... for a girl” and stop after the first part of your sentence.
4. "You look healthy!” or “I like a girl with meat on her bones."
If you want to compliment a girl, then, for God’s sake, steer clear of commenting on her weight. Doing so is pretty much dating suicide. Even if you’re trying to be sincere and honest by calling a woman “healthy,” you’re tapping into her lingering body image insecurities.
Alternative: There is no alternative to this “compliment.” You’ll always end up losing.
5. “You’re cuddly.”
While most of us love a good cuddle, it doesn’t make you qualified to use the word as a defining adjective. In our minds, “cuddly” equals chubby, fat, squishy and squeezable – something like a teddy bear. Every grown-up woman wants to be sexy for her man, not resemble a soft toy from her childhood.
Alternative: Say, “I love holding you.”
6. “You’re so cool; why are you still single?”
This is confusing because you’re either really into us and this is your version of a pick-up line or you doubt our capability to find a decent man. Our coolness, obviously, is accompanied with laser lights that encircle and destroy every potential man -- that’s why we’re single. Does this answer your stupid question?
Alternative: If you’re into her, say, “We should go out for dinner” or something equally straightforward.
7. “I love that I don’t have to try around you.”
While a guy may say this to validate his laziness that’s barring him from putting on a clean shirt, he’s really saying that the girl isn’t good enough to necessitate a clean shirt, or general effort from him.
How about next time we go for dinner, you come in your track pants and burp on the table? Yep, sounds perfect.
Alternative: There is no alternative; just make an effort, fellas. If we can wear mascara and put on dangerously high heels for a date night, you can at least comb your hair.
Photo via We Heart It