Boobs: One day you hate them and the next you love them. Sure, people may think they are amazing and that you're so lucky to have them, but those people are typically rocking size A bras and have absolutely no idea what they're talking about.
Unless you have had the experience of carrying around an extra 15 pounds on your chest, you really just don't have room to talk. As much as we love our extra assets, they can be quite the hassle.
Do you know how hard it is to find business clothes? Or bathing suits? Or any item of clothing for that matter? This sh*t is difficult! There's a thin line between looking cute and looking like a street walker and this is a battle we face on a daily basis.
There are unique set of problems associated with having big boobs, but at the end of the day, they are worth it.
1. The Office
My boobs make any shirt/dress inappropriate for work. #Bigboobproblems — Big Boob Problems (@bigboobprobs) April 2, 2014
Trying to fit your chest into work-appropriate clothing results in one of two things: You either look like a stripper or the Hulk.
There's no middle ground because cleavage in the work place is a no-go. It's not our fault we have to wrestle with these mountains, but nooo Banana Republic doesn't understand our pain and instead forces us to wear suffocating button ups.
There really needs to be a line of clothing made specifically for busty girls. It's actually painful to spend money on business attire because you know how uncomfortable it is to wear these awful items.
You never feel attractive and you definitely don't want to go straight to happy hour from the office because who wants to talk to the girl who keeps adjusting her tits at the bar? Actually maybe that would work in our favor...
2. The Gym
My boobs shouldn't count against me on the BMI test. Of course I'll be overweight. That's another 15 pounds. #BigBoobProbs — Big Boob Problems (@bigboobprobs) April 9, 2014
If only we could remove our boobs and hang them in a locker while we get our workout on. One sports bra is never enough, no matter how much money you spend on it.
I don't know what extra "support" the tag is talking about because my boobs are still assaulting me in the face every time I do a jumping jack.
That's only half the battle since you know guys are just staring at your boobs in the mirror after you made the brave trek into the free weight area.
To everyone whose solution is to wear a t-shirt -- do you know how suffocating that is? It's hard enough to exercise as it is with this problem, but to constrict your body that much is just unnerving.
3. Family Vacation
It is not fair that all the swimsuits that have actual support are over $50. Why am I being punished? #BigBoobProbs — Big Boob Problems (@bigboobprobs) April 12, 2014
Finally, your family decides to treat you and take you all on vacation! Amazing! The problem? Your bathing suit selection. The last thing you and your father want is an awkward conversation on the beach while you are rocking a barely-there bikini.
Honestly who is this more uncomfortable for, him or you? You can't get a legit tan wearing a cover up and you know there's no way in hell you're wearing a one piece.
4. Meeting Your Boyfriend's Family
I hate when people say "PUT YOUR BOOBS AWAY" Bitch, it's impossible to hide my boobs when God HAD to bless me with double D's #bigboobprobz — Big Boob Problems (@bigboobprobs) March 14, 2014
Upon meeting your boyfriend's parents, his dad knows exactly why he's so into you. Obviously this will never be addressed out loud, but that elephant is definitely in the room.
Of course you want to look your best when making this first impression, but once again you run the risk of crossing the street walker line.
How do you downplay your assets when trying to be family appropriate and make an impression? Don't ask me, I'm still single -- but I would guess your best bet would be to wear something that resembles what you would wear to Thanksgiving.
5. Walking Down The Street
Trying to wear cute tops, but in reality they just look skanky. #BigBoobProbs — Big Boob Problems (@bigboobprobs) March 9, 2014
Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy. What the hell are you supposed to do when it's 70 degrees out and you want to embrace the nice weather?
You are simply minding your own business, trying to get from point A to point B, but of course the creepy street dweller must stop and make inappropriate comments, making you feel like crawling out of your own skin.
For some reason, if you have big boobs and you're walking down the street, it basically gives any and every person permission to make a comment. Oh, does it?
No, not at all, but for some reason people don't seem to realize that. If you are going to look, at least make it subtle.