Only a female can truly comprehend the production that is waiting in line for the bathroom. But I’m not talking about any bathroom, I am talking about one scenario in particular, the one that brings about a little bit of angst in nearly every girl at some point or another: the bathroom line at the bar.
Silly subject matter? Of course, but truthfully, the regular experience often involves waiting (and waiting and waiting) for what can seem like an eternity. Much like a ride on the subway, standing on the bathroom line in an overcrowded bar is always a game of chance. You truly never know what you’re going to witness.
However, there are a few rules by which we should all abide — ones that will hopefully help to make that waiting process just a little less tortuous, and maybe, even a little bit shorter.
(Well probably not shorter, but hey, a girl can dream.)
Cutting Will Get You Cut
This may have been one of the first things you learned in grammar school, but it is also one of the most important takeaways for a successful trip to the powder room: no cutting. Real talk, if you think two chicks fighting over a sleazy dude is embarrassing, what do you think two chicks fighting over a sleazy toilet looks like? Even if it kills you, wait your turn.
Girls Are Just As Disgusting As Boys, If Not Worse
Keep your standards low. Throw in enough tequila and some girls will forget every bit of the socializing process that allows us to be the “fairer” sex. No judgment, but stay aware of the things in which you may or may not be stepping.
Falsely Employing The “I’m Only Using The Mirror” Line Is As Close As You Can Get To A Cardinal Sin
This rule goes right along with the first. Just like you shouldn't blatantly disregard people who have clearly been standing in line before you, you shouldn't lie and deceive them into inadvertently letting you cut them. This isn't about bathroom etiquette — it’s about being a decent human. Also, pulling a stunt like that will likely make you public enemy numero uno for the rest of the night, and that’s never a good thing.
Toilet Paper, Soap And All Other Necessities Are A Privilege, Not A Right
This is not your house or the unlivable dorm room you managed to survive freshman year; amenities do not exist. If you want to remain the picture of sanitation that we know all women wish to be, the best approach is a proactive one. Once the drunken brawls begin, the unpaid tabs start to pile up and the bar becomes full of thirsty party people.
Soon, the concern of an empty soap dispenser will likely fall to the wayside, so be prepared. Chances are, you’re going to encounter a bit of Friday-night scum while waiting for your drink, so pack some Purell in your purse to keep your hands clean.
It’s All About Alliances
Regardless of how urgent you may feel your needs are, the truth is, everyone is there for the same reason, so be nice! I can only speak for myself, but I know when the girl behind me isn't snarling at every other chick that walks out of a stall, I am far more likely not to redo my hair, play with my necklace and re-apply bronzer before exiting the desired area. No one likes a bully.
Photo via We Heart It