We’ve all done it... woken up frazzled, in an unfamiliar bed, questioning why the light seems so bright, why the sheets don’t feel right and oh, who that stranger is on the other side of the bed.
The walk of shame is a rite of passage for all singles who while searching for a nighttime mate, succumb to one too many fireball shots and soon, going home with a quasi stranger feels like a fantastic idea. Unfortunately, the misery of the morning after seems to plague us ladies a little more often than the gentlemen.
Knotty, day-old curls, crumbling mascara, eyeliner smeared onto zombie-like under-eyes and putrid alcohol breath aren’t the easiest problems to seamlessly circumvent in a two-minute bathroom stint; most of us can’t just splash some cold water on our faces and be good to go.
So, ladies, next time you awake far from your own bed, look for these items to help preserve some of your dignity. And guys, it may be wise to pay attention. Having some of these on hand could mean that your new lady friend will be happier the next morning — read: more likely to call you again.
1. Olive Oil/Vegetable Oil/Butter
This may sound a bit gross, but trust me, these will clear away that leftover makeup that crept down your face and now looks more like bruises than beauty. These options are way better than trying random hand soap you may find, as those tend to burn eyelids.
2. Air Freshener
Suck it up and just use some — no problem if it gets on your clothes. You’ll thank yourself when you’re sitting in the cab on the way home or squished against a stranger on the subway or bus; at least you won’t be the smelly one.
3. Baseball Cap And Sunglasses
Most guys will have plenty of these lying around. Like a celebrity trying to hide her identity, these props will mask your identity so you won’t need to worry about judging eyes or trying to act cool. This is especially important if you need to be out in public for longer than a few minutes before you get back to the comfort of your home (and don’t worry, guys, you’ll get these precious items back).
4. Bed Sheet
If going out means low-cut, slutty tops, you will be thankful for anything to cover up the fact that you never changed into pajamas last night. Take a sheet, pillowcase or light blanket (anything) and use it as a shawl. This will also cover the weird drink stains you didn’t notice before, now that unforgiving daylight is revealing you may have had more than just a few beers.
5. Lemon Or Lime Wedges
When the toothpaste on the finger trick doesn't work (the Crest tube is unnaturally distorted), take a wedge of last night’s citrus and use it to chase your tequila-infused morning breath.
Place the wedge in your mouth, squeeze the juice out and rub the rind on your teeth. The acidity of the citrus and the texture of the rind will clear away your plaque and freshen your breath.
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