As if a long day at the office on a fall night didn't make feel old enough, calling my best friend out for wine and a turkey burger did the trick. While talking about life issues and world events, something about our conversation stuck out. We had terrible perceptions of love.
Being a woman who gives a damn about getting somewhere in life can seem like a setback in today's world. Finding someone confident enough to play backburner to a nurse’s schedule or a need to be constantly writing is not the easiest thing to ask of a man.
Most men can’t bear to feel inferior to women. Others just don’t feel like putting up with someone who's doing a lot when there are plenty of easy targets that are part-timing it at a pointless job and full-timing at the bars. So, at 22 and 23, we find ourselves at a crossroads regarding love.
After sitting back and thinking long and hard, a few points crossed my mind. I realized:
There's no need to rush.
I mean, I know at 22, our internal clocks are a-ticking; menopause is only like 17 years away, and everyone around us is getting freaking married or popping out child numero dos. But none of this means we have to follow those specific footsteps.
As annoying as it sounds, it will come when it’s time. There's no need to rush greatness, especially when you are still perfecting yourself and your craft.
Find someone who is just as busy as you!
Find someone who is occupying his time with activities like you are! Men have to realize that if they want a successful partner, not someone using them for their moolah, they will have to deal with a busy partner. Point blank.
You don’t have to rely on Tinder.
...Or any online dating site, for that matter. Instead of relying on social media, try something else. Go to Starbucks, a local poetry slam, your school library or anything else where potential love can spark organically! It is possible; although, it may not seem like it.
The Internet seems like the best way to find someone who has mutual interests quickly. Finding natural love in the real world may be harder, but it may yield better results.
Ready for the most annoying, yet truest statement of all?
When you stop looking, it will come.
I can vouch for this. I hung up the hat on love for some time. I focused on myself, took a vacation and forgot the opposite sex existed. Focusing on you will give you time to perfect yourself and learn how to fall completely in love with who you are.
We don’t know ourselves or our true interests because we are too busy trying to be someone else's perfect person. Just stop. Don’t look; focus on you and wait for it to come out of nowhere.