34 Reasons Why Being A Hot Mess After 25 Just Isn't Cute Anymore

by Lauren Martin

Society loves a hot mess. Amanda Bynes, Lindsay Lohan, Mischa Barton, Britney Spears. We follow their drama, like distant friends, wondering what they’ll do next, which part of the law they will test and how far they will keep slipping down this embarrassing, yet all too entertaining slide.

There’s a certain age, however, when the public stops finding them entertaining and starts pitying them. It’s around the same time that the public stops feeding into the child star drama that your parents, friends and everyone else around you stops feeding into yours.

Like these celebrities, you got away with your childish antics and party girl lifestyle for a certain number of years. For a period of time, most notably in college, it was OK to be wild, out of control and smell like vodka at 8 am.

Like when Lindsay Lohan was pardoned for her first two DUIs or when Britney Spears showed her who-ha, you got away with a few things most wouldn’t dare pull off in “civilized society.” But you were young, hot and had a good number of slip-ups left before you started to become a burden.

But those years, those pardons and all those excuses have been used up and you're just not getting away with those things you somehow pulled off in your younger, hotter years.

Smelling like vodka is less funny and more a point of discussion for your parents and friends who are planning that intervention you don’t know about.

Waking up at 10 am because you spent the night drinking doesn’t get you a missed attendance point, but a nasty letter from HR and a possible severance package. Peeing in the street isn’t fodder for a great Sunday morning story, but a warrant for an arrest and a new criminal record.

There comes a time when as much as we wish to cling to our youthful habits, we must let them go and adopt some grown-up ones. While you should never lose that sense of childlike wonder or that youthful innocence, you could lose that shot necklace and the shirt you cut just a little too low.

Because by 25, you’re no longer just a hot girl with some messy habits, but a full-blown hot mess.

1. Your friends are on plan A, you’re just buying Plan B

2. Your friends have brief cases, you're still in your briefs

3. Your friends are making changes, you can’t even change your sheets

4. Your friends are holding things down, you're just throwing up

5. Your friends are working for the week, you’re only working for the weekend

6. Your boss is counting on you, you're counting on your dealer

7. Your parents want grandkids, you can't stop being a kid

8. Your neighbors are buying plants, you’re burning yours

9. Your friends are at happy hour, you’re drinking at every hour

10. Your friends are watching the stocks, you’re watching "Geordie Shore"

11. Your friends are getting flu shots, you’re taking shots

12. Your mom is washing dishes, you're washing your underwear from last night

13. Your friends are making moves, you’re watching way too many movies

14. Your neighbors are cleaning their apartments, you’re cleaning your bong

15. Your friends are taking polls, you’re smoking bowls

16. Your friends are taking a stand, you’re standing on kegs

17. Your friends are running marathons, you're running from the cops

18. Your friends are getting coffee, you’re serving it

19. Your friends are taking the bar, you’re dancing on it

20. Your friends are getting a raise and you’re just getting high

21. Your friends are waiting to invest in their 401Ks and you’re waiting for 4:20

22. Your parents are calling you, you’re calling another song request

23. Your friends are opening accounts, you have no accountability

24. You friends are buying houses, you're buying house music

25. Your friends are having weddings, you forget it’s Wednesday

26. Your friends are burning fat, it burns when you pee

27. Your friends are taking tests, you’re getting tested

28. Your parents are trying to retire, you have yet to retire that beer bong

29. Your friends are buying furniture, you’re still dancing on it

30. Your friends are shopping for food, you’re shopping for sex

31. Your friends are eating out, you're out of money

32. Your friends are working on their registry, you're still at the register

33. Your mom is working on her garden, you're planting another kind of seed

34. Your friends are taking vacations, you're always on one

Photo Courtesy: We Heart It