Dieting is not fun and definitely not an easy feat at first.
The self-control you must exhibit is difficult for everyone and whoever claims otherwise has never eaten penne alla vodka or a grilled cheese sandwich while hungover.
Sure people may claim they love being part of #FitFam or the whole clean-eating lifestyle, but the process leading up to that point is a trek in and of itself.
Day One: Super Motivated
Oh yeah, it's day one -- I'm ready to tackle this whole clean-eating plan. Of course, I won't indulge in pizza for lunch, no problem. I have the willpower of a gladiator. Watch out Domino's, I'm getting a cold-pressed juice today.
Day Two: Confident
I made it 24 hours, look at me go! Any day now, I'll be ready to rock those short shorts and crop top. I already feel like Kate Moss today since this whole eating well thing is going great. Maybe I will even take three group fitness classes at the gym today.
Day Three: Confusion
Why am I starving?
Day Four: WTF
Why have I only lost one pound? I haven't even seen a carb in two days, this is utter and complete bullish*t.
Day Five: Pain
The headaches have set in and you actually started to feel bodily ill. You ask yourself if this is what withdrawal feels like because you are physically craving a large, greasy cheese pizza.
Day Six: Longing
Ugh, what I would do to get my hands on a chocolate bar? No, seriously, the things I would do. Hmm, what about a quesadilla? Yeah, I'd do unspeakable things to get my hands on that cheesy sandwich of delight right about now.
Day 7: Rationalization
Okay, I'll go out with my friends and just have one drink and I'll just order a salad. Wow, look how resilient I am being, this is great. Oh, free bread? I guess it isn't that bad.
Day 8: Hangry
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Try this carb-deprived monster; I just keep staring at the refrigerator and weeping. I'm guessing it would be better for the world if I just chilled on my couch today, my chocolate, buttery brown couch...
Day 9: Progress
I've lost weight, but I'm hungry... is this good or bad? What's going on? I don't even know how to feel right now. I want to reward myself with a bagel, but I can't eat that... can I?
Day 10: Disgust
Ugh. I feel like I'm going to faint, I just needed to eat something substantial, I'll get right back on track tomorrow. Fast forward 10 minutes later: Why did I eat that? I was doing so well, ugh, at least tomorrow is a new and brighter day.
Day 11: Rededication
Fresh and feeling satisfied from yesterday's binge (you promised you wouldn't bring that up again!), I'm fully recommitted to my oxygen-based-celery diet.
I'm going to sign up for three gym classes today -- one for each slice of pizza! Hmm, is it possible to be in a relationship with your meal plan? Like, we broke up for a minute, but now we're totally back together... Is that considered emotional eating?
Day 12: Accomplished
Is it just me being hyper-aware or are these jeans feeling a little looser behind the knees? Planks... yeah, I do 'em. So what? Sixty seconds on your elbows, using nothing but your core strength and abs to support you? Kiddie stuff.
Day 13: Excited
Is that a baby two-pack I'm spotting! Whoever said dieting was hard was seriously disturbed. I'm not even craving the bun on my burger anymore.
My SoulCycle instructor (who probably doesn't know how to spell Kinesiology, let alone study it) was actually right on this one -- my taste buds have totally changed, I swear.
Day 14: Proud
Yes! I've finally reached the point where I stop calling this thing a "diet" and start referring to it as "a lifestyle." I'm in it. So, is this what endorphins are all about? Because I feel Awesome, with a capital "A." Hold on, giving myself a pat on the back. Whoa, are those muscles I feel?