Dating is hard for everyone, but there is a particular type of girl who attracts the wrong type of guy, over and over again. She often finds herself with mascara-stained tears running down her face after trusting yet another assh*le with her heart.
If you constantly find yourself deliberating that your single status is due to the lack of good men around, it is time to reevaluate why that may be.
Of course, it is easier to lay blame on the opposite sex for their inability to commit, but it is often your own behavior that results in you dating one bad boy after another.
Although we may not be able to change our environments and the douchebags who surround us, we do have the ability to change our behaviors, our choices and the ways in which we react.
Start 2015 with a clean slate and an open heart to finally attract the love into your life you've been waiting for. Here are 15 ways to attract a good guy and keep him in 2015:
1. Don’t Play Games
You act like you're not interested in him, but then get mad when he doesn't call. Men aren't mind readers. If you want a good guy to stick around, you have to let him know that.
2. Give The Guy A Real Chance Instead Of Keeping Your Options Open
Between Facebook, Instagram and Tinder, we all have endless access to see what else is out there. But, if you want a new relationship to flourish, put down your phone and focus on one man at a time.
3. Don’t Instagram Pictures You Should Be Sexting, Instead
You post pictures of yourself in a Brazilian bikini with your ass in the air or lingerie selfies as a way to get a man’s attention, and yet, shockingly, he doesn’t want to date you.
Truthfully, unless your job entails you to be in lingerie and post it on Instagram, posting private, provocative images could make you come across as insecure.
If you were in a loving relationship, those images would be saved for private conversations with your man. So, why not start acting a little classier and use Snapchat, instead?
4. Respect Yourself
If you don’t respect yourself, how do you expect the guy to do so? Anyone who is worth dating will appreciate a girl who knows her own worth and doesn’t settle for anything short of amazing.
If you’re trying to find a good guy by getting wasted every night and dancing with your skirt over your head, chances are, only douchebags will come knocking at your door.
5. Tell Him How You Feel, Not What You Think He Wants To Hear
“I don’t want a relationship,” is what you tell him. “I wonder how long it will take before he makes it official?” is what you’re thinking.
If you tell a man you don’t want anything serious, then he will take that at face value. That doesn’t mean you should start rambling about your dream wedding and how cute your kids will be on the first date.
However, it does mean you should see how things progress naturally before deciding where you want the relationship to go. The only way a healthy relationship can function is if you’re both on the same page.
6. Be Vulnerable
It’s okay to admit to a guy that you’ve been hurt in the past and aren’t looking for a casual hookup. If this scares a guy off, then he wasn’t right for you in the first place. A good guy will value your feelings and it will only bring the two of you closer together.
7. Don’t Compete With Him
If he goes out, you have to, also. If he didn’t message you all night, then you wait even longer to not message him.
A relationship will never move along smoothly if you play the dating game like a prepubescent boy who's driven by ego. If you want to be in a meaningful relationship, it is important to be open and honest, without competing with your man.
8. Respect Him And His Time
Don’t make plans and cancel last minute. He went out of his way to ask you out, so follow through.
Unless there is a real emergency, you should always make an effort for the guy who makes an effort for you. Those are the ones you want to be dating, not the ones who make you grovel for their time and attention.
9. Don’t Punish Him For The Mistakes Of Those Who Came Before Him
Most people have been hurt in the past, but carrying that baggage into your new relationship can sabotage it. Like, if your ex cheated on you and you start projecting your trust issues onto your new guy because of it, you will drive him away.
Checking his phone when he’s not looking, getting mad when he doesn’t call back right away or assuming he’s going to dinner with a girl when he says "a friend" are all setting the relationship up for failure.
10. Be Honest About Yourself
Embrace your individuality instead of changing yourself to meet the particular expectations of a guy you just met.
A good guy will love the person you truly are rather than the carefully constructed version of yourself you have represented to him. If you lie about yourself to appear more desirable, just remember the truth always has a way of coming out.
11. If You Invite Him Out With You, Make Him Feel Comfortable
If you have an event and invite the guy as your plus-one, make sure you act like you want him there.
No doubt, he’s a big boy and will be fine if you split up to work the room for a little while, but it’s important to make your date feel welcome. Ditching a guy at a party to which you invited him is a quick way to lose him.
12. Be Compassionate
Being nice goes a long way. If your new man is having a rough day, show your support instead of acting disinterested.
All too often, we’re caught up in playing it cool, which leads us to forget about the little things like being there for someone and listening, which can make the biggest difference.
13. Create New Memories Together, Instead Of Bringing Up Old Ones With Ex Boyfriends
Sure, we all have exes who meant a lot to us, but constantly bringing them up will only make the new man in your life uncomfortable.
If you’re always talking about your exes, it will seem you’re not making any room for the good guy in your life, so it’s likely he won’t stick around for very long.
14. Have Your Own Life
Having your own life is an incredibly attractive quality that will have the good guys flocking to you. Only an insecure man will want a woman who doesn’t have her own thing going on so she becomes dependent on him.
But, the good guy loves the woman who is totally fine on her own and content with her life, whether she is single or in a relationship.
15. Be Confident
If you’re a confident female, no guy will be able to walk all over you because you would never stand for that. Any bad boy you meet will most likely be frightened by your confidence; whereas, a good guy will be drawn to you and admire it.
These days, with social media’s influence over us, we’re more frequently interested in pretending to live happy lives than actually living them. So, in 2015, give the guy who makes you feel good a chance, instead of the ones who make you look good on social media.