I hate “my time of the month.” I’m incredibly moody, stressed out beyond my limits, and I eat every piece of chocolate in sight. The only people who can tolerate me are my closest girlfriends and my mother.
After braving through the pain of that week, I’m back to being my normal self for the remainder of the month until I need to pay my dues again. It’s a never-ending cycle, and one I know I'm going to have to deal with for a long time.
Just to clarify, I’m referring to loan payments, those SOBs I pay during the first week of every month.
What did you think I was talking about?
I can only speak from a female perspective when it comes to how much we loathe this time of the month. I don’t know what kind of thoughts men have when it comes to loans.
There’s quite a bit I don’t understand about the male mind, but I do know guys have their time of the month, too.
College was a worthwhile experience, which came with one heck of a price tag. Payback isn't always fun, and the below list will explain why.
1. When payday and pay-back day fall on the same day
You waited two weeks for that direct deposit to hit your account only to realize that what’s going in is getting yanked right out.
2. Checking your bank account the day after a payment
There are literally no words to describe this feeling.
3. Checking your total loan debt the day after a payment
Did that amount even decrease? Because it still looks the same as it did seven payments ago.
4. The last three weeks of the month
I pay my loans on the 6th and 9th of each month, which gives me a 21-day window to get my financial life in some order. If you have other expenses, I highly suggest creating an Excel budget!
5. To increase or not to increase the minimum payment
You decide to bump up the minimum payment only to realize that your total amount due has only decreased by, like, a few cents since your last payment.
Okay, I’m exaggerating, but you thought that lump sum would have started to shed a few more numbers than it has.
6. Calculating how long it’ll take to pay back your total debt
If I up the minimum by $100 for the next five years, and increase by another $100 three years after that, but make $75 payments each week during those eight years, I’ll still be paying off my loans when I’m 90.
Breathe. It’ll be okay.
7. Realizing you can’t afford a vacation…
You desperately need a weekend getaway. You’re all set to book a hotel when, suddenly, you add up all the money you’d be spending and think of how it could be going toward a loan payment.
8. …but you go, anyway.
Day of vacation: “F*ck, my loans! They’ll get paid off eventually. I deserve some fun!”
Day after vacation: *counts pennies until next payday*
9. Realizing you can’t afford to go shopping…
“BUT IT’S ON SALE.” I know, girl, I know. If it’s a never-will-be-again, must-have-now situation, then buy whatever it is.
Just don’t pull that excuse in every store. In fact, let’s just avoid going into every store.
10. …but you go, anyway.
Told ya so.
11. Making a mental list of everything you can’t afford
While you’re at it, you decide to make a mental note of everything you can’t afford: vacations, new clothes, getting your nails did, that overpriced drink at the bar someone always bought for you in college, Chinese take-out every night, etc.
12. Considering a second job
You loathe the idea of driving from one job to the next and losing your freedom on the weekends.
But, then you think of how much sooner you’ll be able to pay off those loans with the extra cash you’re making. Suddenly, 15-hour work days and early Saturday morning shifts don’t sound as brutal.
13. Holiday season
This year, I decided everyone is getting the gift of presence instead of presents. No joke. Pre-apologizing to any family members reading this.
14. Those events you just DO NOT want to attend
Bridal showers. Baby showers. Engagement parties. Your neighbor’s kid’s third birthday party. Gifts on gifts on gifts. What are you even supposed to give these people besides money?
15. Extreme cases of FOMO
How are you supposed to say no to those Friday night escapades with your ladies in the city? And the group dinners at Applebee’s? And martini Mondays at the bar down the street?
You don’t want to be the “girl who always says no,” but you also need to be conscious of what’s worth the dime.