11 Awkward Talks Kourtney Kardashian And Justin Bieber Will Definitely Have
The Bieber's out of the bag.
Tabloids report Kourtney Kardashian, the living embodiment of the word "bored," is hooking up with 20-something pop prince Justin Bieber.
Paparazzi spotteded the reality star leaving Bieber's hotel at 4 am this past weekend. It's definitely too late to say sorry, now.
Kourtney, who separated from longtime baby daddy Scott "The Lord" Disick this past summer, is 15 years her man candy's senior.
No one would blink an eye at an older man dating a young woman (we see you, Woody Allen). When Kourtney does, however, it's a scandal.
Nevertheless, Kourtney is a full-fledged woman with three kids and a business to run. She's a boss, but Justin is a fledgling man-boy in oversize pants.
Justin has only dated models and celebutantes, so we're willing to bet the pair will have a few awkward conversations along the way.
1. Kourtney: "This is pubic hair, and all women have it. No, I have no idea how you've literally never seen it once in your life."
2. Justin: "Stop using 'ROTFL' in text messages. It hasn't been cool since my first single came out."
3. Kourtney: "Anal sex? More like I peg you first. All my married friends do it. Bible."
4. Justin: "Kourtney, for the last time, coconut oil is not lube. It dissolves condoms and you already have more than enough children."
5. Kourtney: "Oh this? It's nipple hair. I haven't plucked since before Mason was born."
6. Justin: "I asked for nudes, not professionally shot photos of your naked, pregnant body. What the f*ck?"
7. Kourtney: "Internet porn is trashy. I recommend this vintage '70s French porn I flew to Paris to pick up."
8. Justin: "What do you mean, you can't physically make an 'O' face? Botox is a real bitch."
9. Kourtney: "Whisper in my ear about how fat Kim has gotten. It's my biggest turn-on."
10. Justin: "I refuse to call it 'kum.' I don't care that Kris trademarked the term."
11. Kourtney: "I've seen bigger. Douches, I mean."