In college, I could wake up feeling fresh and energetic every morning -- regardless of how much I drank the night before.
Sadly, those days are over.
If you had a big night last night, woke up and suddenly realized you need to look presentable by the afternoon, look no further. I am here to help you.
Depending on the kind of hangover you have, here's what you need to do.
1. The hangover where you feel like death is knocking at your door.
Stop at the corner store for a Gatorade or Powerade or Vitamin Water: Something semi-clear and pumped with electrolytes.
To go with it, get a plain bagel. Literally plain. No spreads or stuff baked into it. You're almost dead remember? You want light and simple so not to make yourself feel more dead.
2. The hangover where you can't even lift your limbs.
Dust off those Cup O' Noodles or Top Ramen from the back of the cabinet.
Soup cured all when you were a kid and it still does. Slurp up those noodles as you prop up your head with a cushion. Eat as quickly or slowly as your body allows.
3. The hangover where you wake up with a pounding head and you're still wearing your sequined top from last night.
You need the hair of the dog or the venom of the snake.
In other words, go drink some booze to cure your woes. Just make sure you have a glass of water with each drink and some carbs to soak up the damage.
4. The hangover where you're sweating profusely.
You know this one. Don't act like you don't know what it feels like to have alcohol is oozing from your pores.
Pick up a fresh fruit smoothie as you go for a walk. Getting some air in your lungs will make you feel refreshed. Ingesting natural sugars will refuel you.
Make sure you grab a bottle of water too and maybe some fries or pretzels to give you the salt your body needs.
5. The hangover where you have a headache and a dry throat.
Chug a cup of water and then go to a fast food joint.
An egg sandwich topped with all the gross fixings you normally deny yourself should do the trick. That greasy mess will be just what you've been craving and you'll be ready to go for the day.
6. The hangover where you feel slightly queasy and have a heavy head.
Sushi is going to save you.
I know, it seemed weird to me, too. But then I tried it and am so glad I did.
Sushi is good for you, even when you're not dealing with a hangover. Don't go crazy with fancy rolls: Veggie rolls or a simple fish/rice combo will do just the trick.
And as you go from death to a mild headache, listen to your cravings!
While these tricks may help you start feeling like yourself again, there's no reason not to give in to what you think you want.
Just tread with caution. You don't want to shove your favorite meal in your face then get sick and have it be ruined for you for months.
Another trick that helps me is to work out. A light jog or a 10-minute core training gets you sweating out the alcohol quicker than when you're just laying there. But just like with the food, don't push yourself and make it worse! Godspeed on all your drinking endeavors.