Going to the gym is supposed to be a positive experience. In reality, it's more of a passive-aggressive one.
Although not all of us enjoy a nice, cleansing sweat, biologically, all those endorphins we're producing should be keeping us happy.
But, you're just as likely to see two meatheads in a screaming match as you are to attain any kind of serenity in the yoga studio. Don't even get me started on the emails sent out if you so much as miss one spin class.
In my personal experience, there's nothing more stressful than trying to get ready for the day in a bathroom you're effectively sharing with 12 other women in various states of toplessness. Who gets the hair dryer first?
It only makes sense, then, that fitness facilities are prime breeding ground for passive-aggression.
All that blood pumping around your body leads to quiet, internal fits of rage, and these people are proof of that:
Don't even think about bringing chalk and tobacco to your workout. If you do, there'll be consequences.
It's all downhill from "Hey, asshole!" Although, I'd argue this particular note falls into the actually-just-aggressive category.
Hey, buddy, I see you have two hands. Why not think about using them to kindly wipe your back sweat off the bench?
When they mention how secure the locker room security is, you'll know they meant it.
The only thing worse than being berated is when even your fitness app gives up on you.
This just in: You're lazy.
Lazy, lazy, lazy.
You stole "like how a raccoon steals from trashcans." Poetic.
The feminist in me really resents this sign.
Also, if it's not too much trouble, please stop pooping in the gym showers.
You and your tiny junk can go elsewhere, please.
And if you're even thinking about personal training, forget it.