This Is The One Thing People Need To Know About Improving Their Sex Lives

Based on movies, TV and even the way my friends talk, it seems like everyone wants to have sex all day, every day.

And if you're just not in the mood because you had a super long day at work followed by a stressful commute, something must be very wrong with you or your relationship. Right?


According to the video above, the desire to have sex 24/7, called "spontaneous desire," is hardly the only form of desire.

In fact, some people have little or no spontaneous desire and are more prone to "responsive desire," meaning they get in the mood when their partners initiate by kissing them or touching them.

So, what's the answer to improving your sex life? According to the video, you should "put pleasure at the center of your definition of sexual wellbeing" and let desire unfold in your own way, whether it's spontaneous or responsive.

In the end, great sex is about communication. And if it takes one partner longer to get there than the other (don't underestimate the power of foreplay!), that's OK.

So if you've spent years worrying about your lack of spontaneous desire, you can chill out. You're totally normal.

New York Magazine on YouTube

Citations: There's One Crucial Scientific Truth Everyone Gets Wrong About Sex (NY Mag)