13 Instagram Captions For Your Gym Selfies That Won’t Make You Sound Like A Tool

Ah, the gym selfie.

It's like waving a stellar report card, or a totally finished New York Times crossword puzzle in your friend's face -- except it's your body.

These pictures often crowd your Insta feed and cause you to either scoff audibly, or at the very least, feel a wave of secondhand embarrassment.

“Can we please not with these?” I often think to myself as I indulge in a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos.

But motivating to exercise regularly can be like, super hard, you guys. So when you finally do start doing the dang thing, and you begin to see and feel the results of your hard work, it's natural to want to share that success with your hundreds (thousands? Tens of thousands? Handful?) of adoring followers.

But one must simply be aware: It is too easy to cross the line between being humbly proud and being a total tool.

Here are 13 Instagram captions you can use to let the world know that, after six months and approximately 4,500 squats, you can now balance a dainty cup of tea on your booty.

Ladies And Gentlemen, We Got Abs

1. It won't be long before my real dream comes true: the ability to grate parmesan cheese onto the massive pile of spaghetti I always consume after my time here.

2. I'm just as surprised by this as you are.

3. You might have to squint your eyes or add a filter, but I swear, there are lines here.

Anybody Need A Ticket To The Gun Show?

4. These 'ceps are totally going to help me lift that burning car off of a stranger.

5. Do you know where the closest veterinarian's office is? No, you say? Because my pythons are sick!

6. My goal is to be able to lift one friend with each arm so they can both have the best views at crowded concerts.

And Now, Please Take A Moment To Appreciate My Sculpted Booty

7. There was a time in life I when I tried to get rid of this thing. Now, it's my life's work to make sure it's big enough to knock everything over when I walk through supermarket aisles.

8. "Fat bottom girls, they make the rockin' world go round." - Freddie Mercury

9. “Goodness gracious God almighty, you got a badonkadonk, girl don't hurt nobody.” - Ludacris

I Didn't Know It Was Possible To Sweat This Much After Cardio

10. "We gotta get out while we're young, 'cause tramps like us, baby, we were born to run." - Bruce Springsteen

11. Just got caught in a small monsoon, nothing to see here.

12. Usually, being late is my only cardio.

Sometimes, You Just Need A Pat On The Back Just For Trying

13. Here at the gym. I'll text you guys what I want engraved on my trophy.