Japanese pole vaulter Hiroki Ogita had the most bittersweet moment of his life this week.
The athlete was trying to crush a height of 5.3 meters when fate handed him a cruel blow to his Olympic dreams: His penis got in the way.
Yep. The pole vaulter's dauntingly large member slapped the bar right off its holders as he tried to land the vault in Rio on Monday.
That flimsy bar stood no chance against the clobber of his mighty helmet.
Bitter, because he finished in 21st place and lost out on the chance of competing in the finals.
Sweet, because it was his penis — not another athlete — that ended his Olympic stint. And that's pretty awesome.
The 28-year-old pole vaulter can hold his head high.
When he goes through the airport with no medals around his neck, he can proudly tell the check-in lady HE was the one at the Games with the unmanageable schlong.
Although he might get stung with an extra luggage fee, because there's no way that monster is classed as carry-on.