Kim Kardashian's Ex-Husband Probably Could Have Beaten Michael Phelps In Rio
Could Kris Humphries be a record-setting Olympian if he kept his athletic focus below sea level?
We're still trying to wrap our heads around this, but supposedly, at one point, the former Mr. Kim Kardashian and Michael Phelps were rivals.
Not basketball rivals or even social rivals vying for the same bevy of willing women. They were swimming rivals. Brothers of the ocean. H2BROS.
This is an insane statement if you think about it for more than 47.51 seconds (the current US record for the 100-meter freestyle relay).
Michael Phelps is the greatest swimmer of all time. Hell, he's arguably the greatest Olympian of all time. He could even be labeled the most dominant single athlete in any sport, rivaling only maybe Wayne Gretzky, Seabiscuit or Michael Jordan in that category.
Kris Humphries is a mediocre basketball player whom we all would've forgotten at this point if he didn't spend two-ish years boinking Kim Kardashian.
Humphries shouldn't be in the same geographical state with Phelps out of athletic respect, let alone in the same conversation when it comes to sporting greatness.
But it's true: The two were swimming rivals, and thanks to the crack investigative team at the Atlanta Hawks, we now have proof with these old time sheets.
Why do the Hawks have their own little detective team? I have zero idea.
"EAT MY WATER DUST, 10-YEAR-OLD MICHAEL PHELPS!" -- 10-year-old Kris Humphries
"SAME TO YOU, TINY RYAN LOCHTE... TIN-TE!" -- 10-year-old Kris Humprhies
Kris has been open about his swimming successes in the past. In 2010, he explained to PEOPLE why he eventually chose basketball over swimming, saying,
I was so good at a young age that I got a little burnt out. I also grew up in the Michael Jordan era ... for me, I watched [basketball] and saw it as a challenge. It's hard to stay focused on something when you have a ton of success at a young age, so I picked up basketball a little later and rolled with that.
What I take away from this is either Kris Humphries is the most underachieving athlete of all time, who should have no fewer than five championship rings and a bunch of All-Star appearances, OR swimming is secretly kind of easy and Michael Phelps is a SHAM of an athlete.
WHAT THE EFF IS GOING ON HERE?!?!