Woman Tweets Her Horror Story About Pooping On A Date And It's Hilarious
In the tradition of "The Zola Story" and "Chrissy Teigen Orders Pie," a new tale written by a rising Twitter raconteur who lived everyone's worst nightmare is teaching us all to be grateful this story isn't our own.
Toronto resident Makela hoped to hit it off on a date on Monday with a handsome stranger, but ended up spending the night harboring a dark, smelly secret.
She began her story with a light content warning.
Then, suddenly, romance.
What starts as a stroke of Beyoncé-level self-assuredness turns disastrous fast.
Time ticked by, and Makela needed to take action.
She did the only thing she could do in the given forest fire of a situation.
Mmm yeah, back to the romance, y'all.
With the Ghost of Poops Past haunting her, Makela texted her sister for advice.
Finally, a light appeared at the end of the septic tunnel.
Sweet relief. Her date never has to know there was another guest in the room that night.
So, what's the moral of the story?
On the bright side, Makela developed a reputation outside of her breathtaking good looks.
Dating is a rough game. The competition can be stiff. There are plenty of hotties out there, but very few hotties with nail-biting poo sagas to tell.
Congratulations, Makela the Poop Girl. You fought for survival in a moment when most of us would have collapsed in defeat.
There's a "Shawshank Redemption" joke in here somewhere, I just know it.