20th Century Fox

Woman Shames Cheating Husband And Mistress In Glorious Craigslist Post

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Hell hath no fury like a woman with a Craigslist account scorned.

There is a good chance at some point during your life you will be cheated on. Don't take it personally. It's not you, it's the cruel, dumpy reality of life, and you can't control it.

What you can control is how you react. The courses of action people take after they find out their significant others cheated on them are like snowflakes: No two are the same.

Some people cry. Others go on aggressive sex-ventures to bone the sorrow out of their bodies. Carrie Underwood destroyed a truck.

This woman took a more public approach by writing one glorious open letter on Craigslist to the woman -- or women -- who knowingly -- or unknowingly -- boinked her husband.

She started the letter with some simple and heartbreaking facts, writing,

You probably don't even know that we're not separated, and up until I found his dating site profiles, and flew back to try and rescue my marriage, I did not know there was a problem... Be aware that everyday, he wrote me loving, wonderful messages, just as he was talking to you and wooing you. As far as I knew, we were strong in our relationship. If he's been telling you something different, get my number from him, and let me show you the messages... So the following may be you, or it may be 'multiples' of you. I do not know how many of 'you' there are. So read to the end. You'll figure out if it's the guy you're dating. Perhaps one of your friends will see this and figure it out for you..

Then, she got HELLA on the offensive, saying,

You left your mascara in my husband's old vehicle (he bought a newer one in late September). It was a shimmery brown Covergirl. I think you left some clothes here too. I threw them away. You also left a bra. You're size 36 B. I'm a 34C. The bra stank with [body odor]. (Of course, it maybe that it belongs to someone else..... After all, his dating profiles --OurTime.com and Match.com--showed that he was horn-doggin' over a 120 mile radius... ) So he announced we're getting a divorce after I confronted him. He's playing 'victim,' and telling me it's a BIG misunderstanding, and that I'm being 'controlling.' I've pointed out that NO woman would agree my behavior is 'controlling' after finding her husband's dating profiles which say he's 'looking for marriage' to someone else. Unless your version of 'controlling' includes an inability to understand I'm upset about the sub-text of 'Why can't I go off and search for my next wife?' or 'Why can't I just get laid behind your back?'

She then let the reality for her husband's new piece slowly set in. She continued,

Well, recently he's lost weight, quit drinking (that was 15 years of h*ll for me and the kids) bought himself a NEW truck (without consulting / asking me). But guess what? That nice house and property you saw, and new truck, and all his new tools? ***I OWN HALF OF ALL OF IT***. So you won't be living in my nice house, we'll be selling it. And he may not have mentioned all my grad school debt... We'll be splitting that as well. So guess what you have??? You, my dear, are the proud new doormat for a middle-aged man who has been a contractor-type all his life. He's fairly smart though, but at 56 his body will not hold out much longer, and he's doesn't have a wide skill-set. He's somewhat heavy-set, pretty good looking, but he will not be wealthy after we split things (nor will I). Congrads! He's quite the catch! (Well, it looks that way from the outset, now, before the divorce) My prediction though is that he'll have to move into a little apartment he can afford. (I don't think he thought all these consequences through. Somehow, in his mind, I'd just disappear and leave him with you, the house, the toys, and the assets?) Oh, and you'll have my dogs, too. They were a present for us from me, and I trained them for a year... but since they're purebreds, guess what? THEY'RE PROPERTY WITH AN ATTACHED VALUE!!!! My guess on their value: They're worth about about $3K. Thank you very much!!!! I'll take something of equal value, like the TV, generator, fridge and some of those nifty new tools!... Of course, since you've been boffing my husband, and you must know I am still in the picture (my stuff is ALL OVER THE HOUSE) ...OR... you may just be incredibly stupid... Maybe you deserve him. You and he ruined my life, stole the life I spent 15 years trying to built with him, destroyed my identity... I wish I could say I 'wish you the best,' but it's more like 'I think you're about to get what you deserve.'

Finally, she tied the post up with a really nice bow, writing,

If you're a real, actually nice person, that has been duped, just know that he's gotten very good at lying. He's a lot of fun. He's a great cook, and a great talker...And he's not single, he's just trying to get laid. Or worse. He's courting you as the next Mrs., knowing that our divorce will leave him very, very financially screwed. And you, my dear, are lookin' to him like his life boat. Get out while you can. GOOD LUCK WITH HIM! THE PACKAGING IS DAMAGED AND WHAT'S INSIDE IS PRETTY SPENT, TOO!

Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Citations: Fed-Up Wife Calls Out Husband and His Mistress in Scathing Craigslist Post (Cosmopolitan), To the Woman Dating My Husband (Craigslist)