If you're a woman on the internet, then you have probably been asked to send nudes at least a couple of times.
I mean, I haven't, but I think that has to do with men realizing pretty early on that I'm a sea witch. (The tentacles in my profile picture give it away.)
Men also have this ability of hounding for nudes in a tenacious way that women would kind of admire, if it wasn't so gross.
Imagine having the blind confidence to ask a perfect stranger to get naked for you on the internet. Has this ever worked for anyone? I'm, uh... asking for a friend.
A twitter user, Katy, epically shut down one farmer named Adrain who tried to slide into those DMs.
Guys, this is not how you open a conversation.
"When will a guy call me so hot and love my boobs and also be a farmer?" said no one, ever.
It's a two-way street, buddy.
I don't believe in one-way streets, not in sending nudes and not while driving.
You wanna take a creepy peep at me, then you better go kiss your tractor in the field.
Isn't there some weird country song that suggests a woman finds his tractor sexy?
What a weird fetish to have — an attraction to farm equipment. I'm not judging.
No, I am. I'm judging. That's a weird song.
Annnnnd... Adrian delivers.
Did he think kissing a tractor would really end in nudes?
Katy was left almost speechless. She could only utter one word:
Sorry, pal. You can't just kissed a tractor and expected naked pics to show up.
Trust me, I've tried. I've kissed so many things hoping that somehow, someway, my DMs will be filled with boobie pictures.
But the boobies never came, Adrian, the boobies never came...