This woman is my hero, and I've never even thought about having a child yet.
In fact, getting knocked up right now would be the equivalent of melting into a helpless puddle on the floor.
I would not be OK. It would not be a funny thing.
But, I never thought I would find humor in someone's pregnancy stories until Bekki Pope started sharing her honest thoughts about "pushing out a baby" online.
Let me tell you, shit gets REAL.
The brand-new mom, who goes under the blogger name of Mummy Mumbles, just provided us with the "20 Things to Know When You've Just Pushed Out a Baby," and they are the funniest, most terrifying bits of insight you will ever read.
"Mummy" gets into the nitty-gritty details about what it's like to have a child and then complete normal day-to-day tasks like showing or "taking your first wee."
Her honesty is fucking hilarious and by far the best advice for any new mother.
Pope even admits newborns look "weird," which we all secretly think when someone pops a little human out. She wrote,
4. Your baby looks weird. Like… Really weird. 'Oh how cute/such a beautiful baby' etc will be said at you and you'll accept other people's opinions, but to you it looks like a hairless slightly purple old grandad with dried blood and skin stuck to its wrinkly face.
New moms everywhere are LOVING what Pope's insight and have shared her post over 81,000 times.
Mother or not, the Facebook comments are hysterical.
All humor aside, "Mummy Mumbles" ends her post on an inspirational note, telling all apprehensive moms to "breathe." She wrote,
20. Stop worrying. You're not superwoman. There is no such thing as normal, and there is no such thing as perfect. You are your baby's normal. You are your baby's perfect. They aren't judging you. They are completely reliant on you and being responsible for another human being is not a piece of cake. It's a piece of 'oh my god I can't do this'. You can. And everyday will get easier. Breath mummy.
Thanks for your insight, Mama. I'll definitely keep it in mind when I decide to have a baby... uh... a LONG time from now.