Wine and condoms are probably my two favorite things on the planet.
Wine gets me drunk and condoms stop me from having babies. What more could I need in life?
Well, just when I thought I had it all, a genius decides to create something even crazier that combines the two.
You heard me. There's a new invention called "wine condoms" and it's weird AF but also essential.
Now, when I first heard "wine condoms," I thought OK, let's do this. How do I get my man's dick drunk?!
But slow down, tiger. That's not how this works. I also don't have a man (haha I'm dying alone), but that's beside the point.
Wine condoms are actually condoms FOR WINE. Next time you get blackout and lose the cork to your wine bottle, use a wine condom to make sure that shit doesn't go bad overnight!
It's simple. The condoms are made from rubber and can be used twice. You can stick them on the opening of the bottle and keep that wine locked up and fresh for the next day. IT'S BRILLIANT.
Here, watch this little video tutorial to see how it's done. Take notes, people!
They also come in a six-pack for just $10 on Amazon. THAT'S LIKE $1.66667 PER CONDOM (according to my calculator).
On top of that, the wine condoms come in the cutest box ever. Tell me this isn't the perfect gift to get your BFF.
Or your boyfriend. Or your girlfriend. Or your cousin. Or your pet.
Maybe just don't buy them for your parents, because that's kind of fucking weird.
But anyone else, haha. Seriously don't give it to them. That's weird.
Well, you guys, Christmas is coming up (it's only two months away, STFU), and my stocking is looking pretty empty. Someone buy these for me, please.
Oh, and if someone could actually make a wine-flavored condom ... that'd be pretty genius as well.