This Woman Makes A Living Turning Ugly D*ck Pics Into Works Of Art

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Soraya Doolbaz doesn't take dick pics. She creates elaborate and breathtaking dick portraits.

There's a difference.

Very few things will put a kibosh on you getting it on with a potential mate quite like sending an unsolicited dick pic.

It's a thing that never works. No woman has ever been at a work meeting, had her phone go off, looked at your poorly lit and terribly framed peen and thought, “GASH DANG, Momma needs'a piece'o'dat DYUCKKKK.”

I mean, sure, I guess there have been cases where it's worked out, in theory, and a dick pic led to some SHUCKAH SHUCKAH, but in theory, you could also win the Powerball. I wouldn't suggest you quit your job and put a down payment on an island anytime soon, though.

That's what makes Soraya Doolbaz's service such a modern-day necessity.

The Iranian born, New York-based photographer made a career out of taking high quality and professionally produced dick pics. Dick pics that tell stories with their photo filters and elaborate costumes. Dick pics with heart.

She recently started to showcase her work more publicly to reach larger audiences.

This woman got some one-on-one time with Donald “The Dick” Trump.

In case you're wondering, business is BOOMING.

Doolbaz apparently makes a killing through these pictures and her product line, which includes everything from wrapping paper and coasters to party invitations and wood prints -- haha, WOOD prints. Like a penis.

During her gallery's run at Art Basel Miami Beach she apparently sold individual pieces for $10,000.

She sums it up best, telling the New York Post,

Two years ago, when I took my first dick pic, I never thought I'd be here today... It's surprising and very delightful that people just like dick on things.

So put some panache in your peen shots and hire Soraya. Trust us, your cell phone just isn't doing that sweet D justice.

Citations: This Photographer Makes Thousands Taking Professional Dick Pics (Complex)