16 Tweets That Perfectly Sum Up How Miserable You Are Without Caffeine
Decaf coffee is bullsh*t.
Honestly, what's the point? Coffee doesn't taste that great to begin with, and decaf is just coffee without everything that makes coffee useful. It's like buying a hoverboard without a lithium-ion battery. When you drink coffee without caffeine, all you're doing is standing on a sideways skateboard without an engine and looking like an IDIOT doing it.
BUT, DON'T WORRY! It'll still give you diarrhea, just like regular coffee. So, there's that.
Plus, and this is what's truly terrible about decaf, it looks the same as coffee and tastes similar. Your ability to be a functioning member of society gets CATFISHED by some half-assed stupid bean every time you scarf down a cup of decaf, and it's about time we as a society stood up to this exhausting and unnecessary part of life.
#IAccidentallyDrankDecaf is trending today, and it couldn't be more accurate if it tried. Not that it would try. It can't. It's tired. It had decaf today.