This Site Helps You Think Of The Perfect Way To Propose To Your BF Or GF

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If you've ever said the words, “Which minor league baseball stadium do you think Allison will appreciate getting proposed to the most in?” then you need this site.

Allison deserves better.

It's not easy to propose if you're a dude. As it is, you probably have a predisposition against commitment, and now, you have to commit, spend a buttload of money on a ring and do an awkward profession of love in a way that both gets your point across and makes people go “d'awwwww.”


If it was up to dudes, we'd get married at a Buffalo Wild Wings during the Jets' bye week.

Don't worry, though, the Vashi Proposal Generator is here to help.

All you need to do is fill out four simple questions about your prospective fiancé or fiancée -- *cough* -- and how much money you're willing to spend on said proposal -- *cough* -- and Vashi will plan out your perfect proposal for you.

For instance, this is how Vashi suggests I propose to my made-up girlfriend, a life-of-the-party type named Zoey who loves watching TV and movies but isn't opposed to traveling the world. (Zoey is not real; I'm still very alone.)

Fun! I'm sure Zoey would have said "yes," and I wouldn't be sitting here contemplating the prospect of dying alone.

Anyway, if you're too lazy to fill out the questions, you can just have Vashi surprise you with an answer, you lazy turd.

Do it for Allison.

Citations: Send Your Boyfriend This Website so He Can Plan You the Perfect Proposal (Cosmopolitan)