Reddit/Shutterstock

Guy Admits Rubbing His Cousin's 'Booty' In Graphic Post

By

Whiskey has the power to make you do some pretty stupid things, but I never knew shamelessly rubbing your family member's "big booty" could be one of them.

A Reddit user by the name of Inferno93 recently turned to the internet for advice after he drank too much Fireball with his cousin and ended up rubbing her "amazing ass" for five minutes straight.

Apparently, they had been taking shots all night long in his cousin's new apartment. At one point throughout the night, one of the Reddit user's friends invited him to smoke weed together, so he did.

When he returned, his cousin was already sleeping, so he crawled into bed with her — and that's when things went sour.

To begin explaining the controversial scene, he wrote on Reddit,

So this happened about a week ago and I still don't know how she feels about the situation. OK last week my cousin (f) and I (m) were drinking at her new apartment, just the two of us. Taking shot after shot of fireball whiskey and well after about two hours of drinking I had a friend call and he wanted to smoke with me so I walked back to my place and met up with him.

Seems innocent so far, right?

Giphy

Ha, not for long.

He continued, and said,

We smoked a bowl or two and then I walked back to my cousins, she was sleeping when I got there so I crawled in bed with her because she doesn't mind sleeping next to me and her bed was the only piece of furniture in the place.

C'mon, man.

You couldn't have brought a blanket and pillow to throw on the floor? You knew her apartment was new. Sheesh.

Moments later, shit started getting weird. In a shameless tone, he wrote,

Now my cousin is about 5'5 blonde with an amazing ass that I've been dying to touch for years well anyway after just looking at her sleeping in yoga pants with her ass towards me I finally worked up the courage to ask her if I could squeeze it.

WAIT! STOP! NO! THAT'S NOT OK!

She's your cousin, dude! I don't care how much Fireball you drank. All the alcohol in the world shouldn't make you attracted to your cousin.

Giphy

He obviously didn't care, though, and woke her up to ask if he could touch her booty.

He said,

I shook her awake and said "hey can I ask you something and promise not to get mad" she said "what" I responded "OK I've been wanting to feel on your amazing ass for years. Can I touch it?" She laughed and said "sure" so I proceeded to feel on her for like 5 minutes.

Big mistake, man. Big mistake.

It only got worse from here, because he inevitably felt the need to see her breasts shortly after.

So, he asked his poor cousin if he could see her boobs.

He said,

I finally decided to ask if I could see her boobs but she said "they're small I don't like showing them" so I just kept rubbing her big booty.

I have no words.

Giphy

At this point, the reality of what was happening probably hit his cousin, and she insisted on driving him home and going to her boyfriend's house.

His exact words read,

Well 30 minutes goes by and she said she has to leave to get her inhaler from her boyfriends and then she dropped me off at home. I woke up the next morning and told her I drank to much last night and I don't remember what I did after I got back from smoking with my friend and what happened?

You know exactly what you did! Don't play dumb, bro!

However, his cousin opted for the "playing dumb" card and pretended nothing happened when he asked.

He ended his Reddit post and said,

She said "idk nothing really. You drank the rest of the fireball and went to sleep until I woke you up to leave so I could get my inhaler" now she isn't really returning my phone calls or text and I think I may have creeped her out by touching her and being a perv. What should I do reddit. Do I come clean and tell her I remember and that I was just drunk or just keep acting like nothing happened?
Giphy

At this point, I think he should probably keep acting like nothing happened and accept the fact his cousin will never show up at a family party ever again.

Oh, he should probably stay away from whisky, too.