Let me be absolutely clear: My mom is the nicest being to ever grace planet Earth. (Sorry, Mother Teresa, but you're a monster compared to her.)
That being said, if my mom wasn't my mother, I would absolutely choose this one as a replacement.
One Twitter user by the name of Delaney Keefe managed to record her mom Tamara's sweet replies to her hilarious texts on social media, and the result has not only gone viral, it's positively... uh, positive.
Take this mom's response to Delaney asking about hypothetically moving to Siberia.
In comparison, if I were to say I was moving to Siberia, my mom would probably exile me... to Siberia.
If I called my mom "the oldest person on Earth," I would become the youngest fossil on Earth AKA she would murder me.
This mom is right. She is definitely the "coolest."
I wish someone would pray for me... All I get are random curses every now and then.
My mom would not think I'm as beautiful as that tree above. She probably thinks I look more like this...
Eh. It's accurate.
Seriously, this mom is the most positive person I've ever encountered IRL, or digitally.
The "best writer?" Whoa, whoa, whoa. In the immortal words of Nic Cage...
High praise, indeed.
My mom would just call me "a writer." Even that would be rather generous.
In response to achieving her viral fame, Tamara told BuzzFeed that she "said that her positive texts are thanks to her being constantly 'blessed' by her daughters."
Seriously, can she get any more adorable? The answer is no. No, because this is the mom to end all moms.
All in all, I think it's moms like these that help us get through this tumultuous night following Election Day.
Regardless of the results, I'm calling my mother tomorrow, Trump or shine.