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Man Loses His Wedding Band In The Worst Place During Sex With His Wife


There are two things one should always remember before anal sex -- three, actually. They are as follows: 1) Make sure that sh*t is clean; 2) break out the lube; 3) take off your jewelry.

The last item on that list might seem out of place — "Take off my earrings?" — but when you read this loving hubby's horrifying account of losing his wedding ring, you'll appreciate the advice.

The story starts with said husband, who recently lost a bunch of weight (making his wedding ring precariously loose on his finger), preparing to have sex with his wife. His wife, in probably the best wife-move ever, suggests anal.

And then, all goes downhill.

As the man explains:

Oh good God.

Instead of running away crying and/or going to the hospital (both of which, I'm not afraid to admit, I would have done), the brave man went back in there and did his best to fish it out.

He continues:

Talk about killing the mood.

Future husband, I promise you this: If you ever get your ring stuck up my assh*le, you'll be the one fishing it out of the toilet.

Just saying.

Citations: This Man's Story About Losing His Wedding Ring Inside His Wife Will Make You Never Want to Have Sex Again (Cosmopolitan)