This Holiday Ad For Pornhub Gift Subscriptions Is The Funniest Thing Ever (Video)

Give that special someone in your life the thing he or she really wants this holiday season: access to thousands of hours of people plowing into each other's genitals so hard their butts almost fall out.

Buying holiday gifts is not an easy thing to do. Who knows what people who aren't you are really into nowadays?

I have a cousin who is 19, and I'm like 40 percent sure he's ever spoken on a landline before. For holidays full of people not really knowing what their loved ones are into, he who can find common ground with his fellow human is a better gift giver than ol' St. Nick himself.

Porn is that common ground.

EVERYBODY watches porn. Young or old, man or woman, pastor in a sleepy town who bans dancing or upstart group of dancers trying to make a statement about expression through interpretive movement, it doesn't matter. Everyone watches porn.

It's the great equalizer. The Israeli-Palestinian conflict would be solved in three days if Israeli and Palestinian leadership started every meeting with a ceremonial “sooooo, seen any good porn lately?”

Honestly, there is probably someone watching porn right now within 150 feet of you. It's just math. The sooner you admit that, the sooner you can move on to giving the best gift of all time: a Pornhub premium subscription.

So, do yourself a favor and give a stocking stuffer that lets someone you care for watch people “stuffing” other people's “stockings.”