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This Guy's Story About Pooping In Antarctica Will Scar You For Life

by Hope Schreiber
YouTube

Camping is always really fun until you have to use the bathroom. Then it's a Russian Roulette of tipping over into your own waste, being spotted by a fellow camper, using poison ivy as toilet paper or a bear interrupting your business.

Not surprisingly, having to set up camp in Antarctica also has it's own difficulties when it comes to pooping -- even smarty pants scientists have to poop.

In a clip from National Geographic's "Continent 7," we see that the environmental scientists are not INcontinent, so they have to set up what they call "waste tents" and what I call "flapping-in-the-wind-poop-building."

You know how uncomfortable a cold toilet seat is? Imagine having to go to tinkle-town in -100 degrees Fahrenheit.

This makeshift port-a-john will protect you from nothing.

Scientist Wolfgoing Rack, which may be one of the coolest names ever, said:

It's like at home, everyone would like to have a clean bathroom. So why not keep it clean here? It's not that bad.

His fellow scientist, Marcus Arnold, totally disagrees, referring to the "morning rush." AKA -- cleaning up everyone's frozen poop-sicles.

The team will empty the toilet in a separate igloo to bring home with them (NO WASTE LEFT BEHIND), and then replace it with another empty glorified trashcan.

Of course, it's a bit more difficult when you're a woman -- as usual. Men get to use pee bottles in their sleeping bags, while women have to depend on accuracy.

Environmentalist Christina Hulbe said,

If [women] try to fill [their] pee bottles too fast, [they're] unlikely to have perfect accuracy.

There is special care in tapping the tent down into the ice with picks. Rack explains, obviously:

If you're sitting on a toilet in a storm, you don't want to have it flying away.

Basically the wind in Antarctica will be like your jerk of a cousin at the racetrack shaking the port-a-potty you're in, and getting his drunk friends to tip it.

Everyone can relate to that, right?

Citations: Ever Wonder What It's Really Like to Poop in the Middle of Antarctica? (Cosmopolitan)