You Need To See This Guy Devour 13 Slices Of Cheesecake In One Minute Flat

Competitive eater Matt Stonie inhaled 13 slices of cheesecake in exactly one minute -- just because he can. That's 5,300 calories of dense, creamy deliciousness to horrify you dieters.

In his YouTube video, Stonie works out the math, concluding that's 89 calories per second. I'm no rocket scientist, but that seems like a lot of calories for a guy who looks as skinny as a string bean. Oh, how I envy you, Matt.

What I'm really wondering, though, is why he had to put each slice on a separate plate. Wouldn't it have been easier to just grab huge fistfuls from a whole cake? Couldn't he have fit one more slice in if he didn't have to reach across the counter? Does he simply enjoy doing dishes?

The mystery remains, but for now, we can at least stay entertained by the mildly grotesque display of overeating in the video above. Only in America, friends.

Citations: Competitive Eater Matt Stonie Is Back With Easily His Grossest And Most High-Calorie Challenge Ever (BroBible)