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9 Daniels Who Are So F*cking Done With The 'Damn, Daniel' Thing

by Eitan Levine

It's going to be a rough week for people named Daniel.

There is a weird video meme going around the Internet nowadays literally just of some kid yelling, “Damn, Daniel,” at another kid who is, presumably, named Daniel. That's it. That's the entire thing. It's been viewed approximately 700 trillion times.

If you're thinking, “That can't be it, I'm missing something,” I suggest you watch this video.

Yeah! I KNOW! I'm confused as hell about it, too! Who am I to judge, though? I ride the subway to work every day, and this kid could easily sway the next presidential election.

The thing is there are victims in this story. I'm talking, of course, about people named Daniel. These brave and innocent souls went to bed as normal humans on February 15, but woke up part of some viral Internet thing whether they wanted to or not.

I tip my hat to you, brave souls. You are collateral damage in the world's battle to make things that shouldn't be popular super popular.

1. SPARE THE CHILD!

When your bro's name is Daniel and he hasn't seen the video yet #damndaniel pic.twitter.com/k6252Scuit — Steve Johnson (@SJohnson831) February 22, 2016

2. LEAVE DANIEL ALONE!

3. Who is more guilty: the crowd who torments him or you who stood by silently?

everyone is picking on my friend Daniel All you be hearing in the halls is "DAMN Daniel" — Bryson (@BrysonTV) February 22, 2016

4. HE IS KYLE NOW!

5. You can never truly escape it.

When your name is Daniel — Daniel Greene (@jumpmen24) February 22, 2016

6. This is your Irish potato famine.

The worst time to be called Daniel. #damndaniel — Daniel Bowman (@bowman1510) February 22, 2016

7. OK, let's cool down real quick.

8. The ol' "I give up" technique.

So I think for the next week I'll just hear "Damn Daniel" at school. — Levy. (@LevyDesigns) February 22, 2016

9. STOP, YOU MONSTERS!

May God have mercy on their souls -- or should I say, "soles," like the bottom of white Vans shoes? I'm sorry. I'm making it worse.