Imagine working for Cheetos and realizing every hit for your product online comes from just a writer like me calling the president of the United States of America a cheesy puffed snack food because his skin tone resembles it.
So, finally, there is some good news for Cheetos: an article that is actually about Cheetos!
Jessica Rupie and her roommate Rue Lawrence purchased a bag of Cheetos in her home town of Murfreesboro, Tennessee.
Lawrence told the Huffington Post,
[Jessica] got the bag of Cheetos at Walgreens, and we opened the bag and couldn't stop laughing.
*SCREAMS FOR TWO HOURS.*
WHAT IS THAT?!
It is an abomination.
The Cheeto itself took up most of the space in the medium-sized bag. Lawrence said,
There were a few other little stragglers. But it rested comfortably between the top and bottom corner of the bag. We didn't notice until we got to the car. It was a medium-sized Cheetos bag and it fit perfectly.
I think the picture I took makes the bag look a little smaller than it was, but it definitely fit.
The Cheeto was made of individual Cheetos that stuck together, end on end. Eagle-eyed Twitter users even spotted the dents where the Cheetos begin and end.
Rupie eventually ate the entire Cheeto after debating whether to save it or not and didn't let Lawrence sample a single bite of the epically long cheese puff.
Naturally, people cannot believe this atrocity.
Its mere existence is obscene.
There were plenty of nonbelievers who assumed the roommates created this cryptid.
Some other Twitter users even claim they used to create Cheeto snakes like this when they were kids.
I Googled "making long Cheeto out of little Cheetos" and it's not even the weirdest thing in my recent search history.
I just have one question: What monsters eat regular puffed Cheetos instead of Flaming Hot Cheetos?!