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Ben & Jerry's Just Revealed Three New Ice Cream Flavors That Look Insane

Usually I limit myself to two (fine, three) pints of Ben & Jerry's a month because I am a very healthy person who believes in self-control.

But, my dudes Ben and Jerry are testing that self-control right now. As of today, Ben & Jerry's released not one, but THREE new flavors of creamy, sweet, delicious ice cream.

THREE NEW FLAVORS, YOU GUYS! And I ain't talking 'bout no weak-ass, limited-edition flavors, either. I'm talking full-on, CORE FLAVORS, which means they are infused with gooey, chunky swirls of chocolate 'n stuff.

The company announced the flavors in separate Snapchats beginning Tuesday, and the flavors all look amazing. I am physically restraining myself from abandoning work and this article to go out and buy that last one right now.

The first new flavor is...drumroll please...Come on, I think you can drum a little louder than that...Really put your elbows into it...There you go......BROWNIE BATTER!!!

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OH MY GOD! It's chocolate and vanilla ice cream with bits of fudge brownies and a center core of uncooked brownie batter. *Drools*

Moving right along to flavor number two, introducing......COOKIES & CREAM CHEESECAKE!!!

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HOLY DAIRY DESSERTS, BATMAN! This one is chocolate and cheesecake ice cream (which already sounds amazing) with a core of pure cheesecake. *Fans self*

And finally...the moment you've all skipped ahead to get to...I present to you......COCONUTS FOR CARAMEL!!!

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JESUS TAKE THE F*CKING WHEEL!!! This one DEFINITELY wins the non-existent competition for me, with caramel and sweet cream coconut ice cream and a caramel core.

GIMME, GIMME, GIMME! Man, screw a long and healthy life, I'm going home and eating six pints of each of these tonight. Or, I'll do that as soon as they're available, anyhow. All three flavors should be hitting shelves within the next few weeks, for up to $4.99 a pint.

See you all in the freezer aisle! (Unless you're lactose intolerant -- that sucks, sorry about that.)

Citations: Ben & Jerry's Reveals New Flavors On Snapchat, And I'm Already Dying To Get My Hands On The First One (Bustle)