It's Thursday, and I don't like to culminate the workweek without giving you a GAG, VOM, GROSS story. So, darlings, it's here. I'm going to give you your GAG of the day.
A backwards, bigoted, dated little organization, otherwise known as "The American Family Association," actually took time out of their days to complain about a completely harmless, gay-friendly Hilton Hotel ad. Because of this, I would like to rename them the "UN-AMERICAN Family Association" because American history is one of social progression, but I'm trying to get a lot of other things LLC'd and I don't have the time, girl.
The lovely group of homophobes and repressed homosexuals are petitioning against Hilton Worldwide after an ad for the hotel chain featuring TWO MEN IN BED (I'm clutching my proverbial pearls and gasping at the thought of two men in bed!) was published in the June issue of Travel + Leisure.
Here is the wildly offensive ad:
I'll tell you one thing, I'm personally offended by this ad for my own reasons. WANT TO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE? Of course you do, that's why you're here. Because the men are wearing SHIRTS in BED.
Come on, boys, show off those Fire Island perfect pecs I know you have hiding under those prim cotton white shirts! Don't deprive us all of some eye candy because you don't want to scare off some closeted frat boys who aren't sure why they're so turned on by your hot bods.
But my reasons for being offended are vastly different than the dimwits at the American Family Association. Look at this garble on their website:
Travel and Leisure isn't a gay-specific magazine sent directly to homosexual's homes. It's a widely distributed mainstream publication that can be found in many public places such as doctors' or auto repair waiting rooms. If Hilton had advertised two men playing tennis, cards or having lunch, that would have been reasonable. However, Hilton chose to make a cultural and social statement by purposely marketing the promotion of homosexuality to a large segment of the population who finds the idea of two men sleeping together unnatural and offensive.
I love when bigots call my sexuality unnatural. Because, to be honest, nothing has ever felt more natural to me than making sweet, sweet love to my girlfriend. I could give you some pointers, if you'd like. I'm really good at it.
And if us holding hands or being affectionate or God forbid being in YOUR ADS are offensive to your poor repressed homosexual eyes, well, close them, babe. Because that sounds like a personal problem.