Many of you are either currently, about to or have just finished flying home for the holidays. If so, you've braved some of the worst travel days of the year.
You have seen teenagers attempt to have conversations with other teenagers while both have headphones in their ears. You have seen couples shouting at each other over whether or not "your mother fucking hates me!" You have seen babies vomit on other babies.
Flying during the holidays is the herpes of travel. I wish you all the best of luck.
One trio of friends, however, experienced the white whale of sky commuting — the stuff of legends.
You will sometimes hear an old, bearded sailor in a heavy sweater drinking a Heineken at an airport Arby's speak of a time he saw this miraculous, glimmering thing, years ago, when things were different and the sky was pure.
The three had the entire plane to themselves — all of it.
I pray for weeks in hopes that I may, if God permits, have just the seat next to me free so that I don't have to have an "arms race" for the arm rest.
That was an excellent dad pun, although, considering the news today, much darker than I intended. (Sidebar: Let's not have a nuclear arms race with anyone. It is very uncool and from the '80s, just like everything about Donald Trump).
Observing they were the only ones on the British Airways plane, these three friends (Laura Stevens, Sarah Hunt and Laurie-Lin Waller) did what civic duty dictates: They took selfies and put them on Twitter.
A lot of selfies.
The plane is made to hold 150 people.
Laura Stevens spoke to the Telegraph about it, saying:
We felt like celebrities, especially when we were given champagne. It was the best Christmas present ever. We couldn't believe how kind and lovely everyone was.
We were the only people in the departure lounge so staff let us use the executive suite, which is usually reserved for business flight passengers.
I hope your luck is (or was) as good as theirs. Happy holidays to one and all.