Sex and love are not synonymous. Despite causing similar feelings of warmth, attachment and euphoria, lust can't make up for devotion that doesn't exist.
Some un-lovers fake their adoration for their significant others just to maintain access to the boneyard.
You know, the boneyard… on US Route 69… in Intercourse, Pennsylvania? Sexactly.
Sometimes, you just have more in common with his penis than the rest of him.
Sometimes, you have to have sex six times a week to keep his laugh lines from making you vomit in your purse.
Sometimes, you don't speak to your girlfriend about anything other than where to meet for a sweaty game of doin' it.
Sometimes, it's not him. It's you and your fear of committing to anything but a quality peen.
Sometimes, being manipulative is a two-way street, psychos.
Sometimes, you build up your appetite at the buffet just to eat at home.
Sometimes, he's just a human placeholder.
Someti -- Goddamn.
Sometimes, you have to take a hit to keep other biddies thirsty.
Sometimes, you have to pretend you don't notice him proposing to you six times.
Sometimes, you -- JESUS CHRIST, BRIAN, SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
Sometimes, yes, you're a bad person.
Sometimes, you're an adult, and it's your decision how you treat other human beings and yourself.
No matter how sensational the sex, a sh*tty relationship is a sh*tty relationship. In the words of the most irritating, ubiquitous song of the past decade: Let. It. Go.