Your Ex's Myers-Briggs Personality Type Reveals What They'll Text You
Having any sort of relationship with an ex post-breakup can be weird. Getting a text message from an ex can be even weirder. From, "I never stopped loving you," to, "Never talk to me again," it's hard to know what to expect when an ex reaches out. Of course, you have to take into account how you two split, what terms you're currently on, and — most importantly — their personality. Depending on your ex's Myers-Briggs Personality, the text they send could be cordial, cold, or weirdly casual. Though personality types can't tell you everything, they can give you some insight into a text from an ex.
Bela Gandhi, president at Smart Dating Academy, previously told Elite Daily that it's not always easy to understand an ex's motivation for reaching out. "If they're texting you that they want to hang out, that they miss you, that they've made a mistake... then they want to get back together," she explained. "If someone is only texting you between 10 p.m. and 1 a.m., this is probably not a person who's looking to be in anything serious with you." If you're not sure what kind of text you to expect from your ex, their personality type might help clear things up.
INFP (The Mediator)
"I really thought you could have been the one, but I was wrong. I'm sorry we didn't work out, and I wish nothing but the best for you."
Mediators are dreamy idealists, and they want a happily-ever-after or nothing at all. If you fail to meet their (sometimes unrealistically) high standards, they have no problem moving on — but doing so in a way that avoids conflict, ideally.
INFJ (The Advocate)
"This might be weird, but I actually know someone who could be a really great match for you. Would you like me to set you up?"
Advocates are kind souls with a strong sense of morality. They will do anything to help others, rarely using their tireless energy for their own gain. And because they are givers, they're happy to help out an ex, even if it's difficult for them.
ENFP (The Campaigner)
"Hey, how's it going? We should grab coffee sometime and catch up!"
Happy-go-lucky Campaigners are free spirits who are rarely seen without a smile. Although they're not the most practical people, those with this personality have impressive people skills and probably know better than anyone how to befriend an ex (and not make it awkward).
ENFJ (The Protagonist)
"It think it's time for us to exchange our stuff. I'll pack up everything of yours that I have in my apartment and bring it over to you this afternoon."
Protagonists know how to take the lead. Those with this personality rarely date casually, so it's hard for them to end relationships. But as altruists, they want to do what's best for everyone, which means handling a breakup in a way that's rational, fair, and mature.
INTJ (The Architect)
"I've been thinking, and I've decided that our relationship started going downhill after that night we saw the concert. Thoughts?"
Architects are academics and analytical AF. They usually won't rest until they understand even the most inexplicable situations. Those with this personality type are also a bit clueless in relationships, so they have a pretty hard time letting anything go — especially an ex.
INTP (The Logician)
"You should probably get your oil changed soon. I know it's not my place to tell you that anymore, but I doubt you'll remember to do it on your own."
Logicians don't usually mean to hurt people's feelings, but they tend to be honest to a fault. They make decisions based on facts rather than feelings, so they can seem condescending, even if they don't feel any resentment towards their ex.
ENTJ (The Commander)
"Our whole relationship was a waste of time. This will be the last contact I ever have with you."
Commanders may be charismatic, but they are truly ruthless when they need to be. People with this personality tend to be very sure of themselves, and they're not afraid to take bold action. Efficiency matters more than emotions for Commanders, so they're more than OK with saying, "Thank you, next."
ENTP (The Debater)
"Give me three reasons why you think our relationship wasn't working, and I'll tell you what I'm going to do to fix them."
Debaters are endlessly curious and enthusiastic, and they'll go to any lengths to improve something — even a relationship that's already over. They also live for a challenging debate, so don't expect them to accept anything without questioning it first.
ISFJ (The Defender)
"Just know that I will wait for you to come back to me, no matter how long it takes."
Kind-hearted Defenders will do anything for the people they love, even if it's to their own detriment. That dedication can sometimes even verge on possessiveness. If a Defender loves someone, there's no chance of them setting that person free.
ISTJ (The Logistician)
"I know money is kind of tight for you right now, but I'm still going to need you to pay back the money I loaned you."
For a Logistician, the rules were not made to be broken. They believe in doing everything by the book, which means that even breakups are handled with the utmost formality. And while they enforce rules out of a sense of practicality and responsibility, their actions can be interpreted by others as kind of harsh.
ESFJ (The Consul)
"No hard feelings, right? You're a great person, so I just want to make sure we're cool."
Consuls are people-pleasers. For them, life is a popularity contest, and they want to be liked by everyone. The idea of an ex being mad at them is pretty intolerable, so after a breakup, they'll want to make sure their ex isn't harboring any bad feelings.
ESTJ (The Executive)
"You shouldn't remove any pictures of us together from your Instagram. That always draws a lot of unnecessary attention."
Executives care deeply about their image and how others perceive them. Their biggest concern post-split is how other people will react to the news, not how they feel themselves. People with this personality type are likely to start damage control before even processing a breakup.
ISFP (The Adventurer)
"Hi there! This is random, but I was just thinking about you, and I hope everything is going really well for you!"
Adventurers are charmers, and they somehow always know what people want to hear. Although fiercely independent, those with this personality are too curious and kind to cut an ex out of their life for good. They're also totally unpredictable, so they could send this text to an ex anywhere from three weeks to three years after breaking up.
ISTP (The Virtuoso)
"Just wanted to let you know that I'm backpacking through southeast Asia for the next five months, so if you try to contact me, I probably won't be able to answer."
On the rare occasion that Virtuosos find themselves in a relationship, they're usually not too bummed when it ends. These types love having autonomy, and being in a partnership is only going to hold them back. If they say anything to their ex at all, it's definitely not going to be too sentimental.
ESFP (The Entertainer)
"I'm having a birthday party tonight. You should come!"
Fun-loving Entertainers can't stand planning ahead, so any text this personality type sends an ex is sure to be spontaneous. Even if they don't particularly want to be friends with an ex, they'll probably like the idea of it and try to make it happen — they love to be loved, after all.
ESTP (The Entrepreneur)
For an Entrepreneur, every risk is worth taking. These types are supremely confident, and when they want something, they're not afraid to ask for it. Life is all about living in the moment for them, so why not shoot their shot?
Once you break up with someone, it's pretty tough to predict anything they do from that point on. But if you know their personality type, then their actions (and their texts) might make at least some sense.