Being single and actively looking for someone special can take a lot of energy. Maybe you're on dating apps, or maybe you like being set up by friends. However you got there, being on a date with someone new can be intimidating, exhausting, and thrilling all at the same time. If you still don't quite know where your date stands, there can be a lot of unknowns and plenty of anticipation as you try to figure out whether or not your date wants a casual relationship, or something serious. If you're looking for something more serious, and your date's not, then this might probably be a deal-breaker for you. But how can you tell what sort of relationship your date is after?
"It’s important to realize that everyone you meet isn’t on the same page as you are when it comes to relationships," online dating expert Julie Spira tells Elite Daily. "You might have spent six months recovering from a breakup, where they’re still hanging on to an ex they can’t stop thinking about."
It's normal to be dating someone who isn't quite ready to commit, and that doesn't mean that they'll never want something serious. But, there are definitely signs that your date isn't exactly on the same page as you when it comes to a future relationship. Here's what Spira says to look out for.
In some cases, your date might preface the entire evening by telling you that they aren't looking for anything serious. "When someone tells you they’re not interested in getting serious, I always say, believe them," Spira says. "There’s no point in trying to persuade someone that you’re the right one for them as a serious partner if they’re other not ready, or aren’t feeling it with you."
Obviously, if someone is looking for a serious, honest-to-goodness relationship with you, then they'll probably want to talk to you on a semi-regular basis. On the other hand, "When someone is looking for a casual relationship, they usually won’t be in contact in between dates, or they won’t have a regular daily text exchange with you," Spira explains.
Listen, if you're into booty calls, then more power to you! If you make booty calls yourself, yaaas girl! But if you want a serious relationship, and the person you're dating keeps booty calling you and you aren't into it, that might be a sign they're not super serious about your situation, Spira advises. "They also will schedule getting together, or hanging out very last minute, or late at night, which screams booty call," she says.
If you're out on a date with someone and you aren't exactly in the most romantic setting, they might be letting you know that they aren't looking for a real relationship. "They might book dates during the day to go on a hike, without making plans to see you at night for a romantic dinner," Spira says.
If your dates are all hikes, bowling, and dog parks, and there's a noticeable lack of romance, Spira suggests something might be off.
Last, but certainly not least, if your date is avoiding seeing you on weekends or special occasions, they might just want to keep things casual. "If they aren’t scheduling dates for weekends and holidays, they’re letting you know you’re not a priority on days that eventually lead to having a relationship label," she adds.
Really, though, "Most relationships start out casual," Spira says. "So if someone comes on too strong, it could actually send you running for the hills. Take time to enjoy getting to know each other. If you have the same relationship goals, it’s good to take it slow and see where it goes. Your date just might catch up with [you]."
Don't worry too much if your date doesn't seem to want something serious. They might change their mind, and if they don't, then you deserve to be with someone who wants the same things as you. You have every right to find the right partner for you, and if this date isn't it, then at least you know. Thank u, next.
