Why Can't I Get Wet Before Sex? Here Are 4 Potential Reasons Your Body Isn’t Responding
Living in a social climate that is just now opening up to issues affecting female sexuality at a snail's pace can make the prospect of having open and honest conversations feel super intimidating. It's all too often that we instead choose to suffer in silence because of the frequent judgement associated with sensitive female-oriented topics by both our peers, and sometimes even by medical professionals. If having trouble getting wet before sex is something that you're dealing with, then rest assured you are definitely not alone.
By this point, most of us know that female sexual organs are a bit more complex than those of our male counterparts. And thanks to a truck-load of different, equally annoying reasons, female pleasure has taken the back seat for far too long. But finally, there seems to be a moment of female sexual enlightenment taking place that's making information on topics that were once only whispered about with your closest friend more readily available to the masses.
Struggling to get lubricated before sex can significantly detract from the pleasure that everyone deserves to experience during intimacy, but it's most likely something that can be addressed depending on what the root cause is. Elite Daily spoke with Dr. Lakeisha Richardson, OBGYN, MD, to understand the most common causes of vaginal dryness and how to handle them.
1Using Harsh Chemicals "Down There"
Growing up, no matter where I seemed to turn, there was harmful rhetoric insisting that something about vaginas needed to be "fixed" — whether it was stupid jokes about the different ways they smell, or that they needed to be intensely "cleaned" in some way.
And while hygiene is totally important, according to Dr. Richardson, it is surprisingly common how many women think that putting a splash of bleach or alcohol in their bath water results in being cleaner "down there." This couldn't be further from the truth.
"These agents are way too harsh for the vaginal area and can cause damage and dryness to the vaginal mucosa," Dr. Richardson tells Elite Daily. The same can be true of extremely drying body washes.
If you're not sure if the products you're using are "too harsh," remember that everyone's body responds differently, and mixing up your regimen and observing the changes can help you see what works for you.
"A lot of woman also think that douching is necessary to cleanse the vagina," explains Dr. Richardson. "However, douching destroys the normal flora of the vagina. It also increases vaginal dryness and the risk of pelvic infections."
But what if the smell seems way stronger than normal, or you're experiencing discomfort?
It happens! But whatever you do, don't reach for that scented body wash, as this could very well cause you to experience prolonged dryness and discomfort, warns Dr. Richardson.
More often than not, a pH imbalance is to blame when your vagina feels like it's going rogue.
Dr. Richardson suggests "a pH balancing solution like RepHresh Vaginal Gel that will help rebalance your pH, or a feminine probiotic like Pro-B that can help maintain a healthy vaginal environment on a daily basis."
As it turns out, lack of adequate moisture below the belt can also be caused by certain prescription medications.
"If a woman is struggling with vaginal dryness and she is taking medications for allergies or bladder problems, she should discuss changing her medications with her physician," says Dr. Richardson, as "some allergy medications and anticholinergics can cause dryness of the mucus membranes, which includes the vaginal area."
It's also worth noting that if you feel like your doctor isn't taking your concerns seriously, then try another doctor! No one should be discounting the importance of your sexual pleasure and/or health, especially not your doctor.
4Not Enough Foreplay
While the causes of vaginal dryness are often associated with "the use of harsh products in the vaginal area, excessive douching, and certain medications," explains Dr. Richardson, it's also possible that you might simply need a bit more foreplay.
Don't feel like you have to rush to get to the main event. Maybe experimenting some new pleasure techniques with your partner to figure out what gets you off is all you need.
And it should go without saying that there is absolutely nothing wrong with using lube if you're still experiencing dryness before getting down to business. There are plenty of different sexual lubricants on the market with a bunch of fun-sounding added perks (think warming and tingling). Just remember to avoid oil-based lubes if you are also using condoms, as they can damage the latex, which could result in the condom breaking or tearing. While it may be tempting to get down on yourself about issues like dryness, just remember that there are almost always solutions.
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