If you've ever received a dirty text from your partner in the middle of the day, while you're running errands or sitting at your desk, you know how much it can turn you on. There's nothing quite as satisfying as a hot sex session where your partner whispers sweet nothings in your ear. But why are people so turned on by dirty talk? I reached out to experts to understand how a few naughty words can make someone so hot and bothered, and it's actually a lot more psychological than you might think.
In its most basic sense, "dirty talk is sexual banter," licensed psychologist Jennifer B. Rhodes, tells Elite Daily. "It’s fun and most of us need more fun in our relationships and sex life." But there's much more to dirty talk than just fun banter. "People very much enjoy dirty talking because it activates all regions of your brain while your body is also getting stimulated," Daryl Cioffi, LMHC specializing in couples, relationships, sex, neuropsychology, and owner of Polaris Counseling & Consulting, told Medical Daily. "Similar areas of the brain are touched upon during dirty talk as when we curse. So, very often as your brain sees it, the dirtier the better."
"We all have different facets to our personalities," Rhodes says. For instance, maybe you like being more dominant during sex, but you don't know that because you've never tried. "Dirty talk can help you explore some of the darker or more hidden desires you might have," Rhodes explains. So, couples who engage in dirty talk might uncover fun and exciting parts of their sexuality that they wouldn't have otherwise. It's definitely a perk, in addition to the brain and body stimulation enjoyed during dirty talk. "Many people enjoy dirty talk as part of exploring their sexuality," Rhodes adds, so if you and your partner haven't given it a try just yet, it might be worth dabbling in.
However, as enjoyable as dirty talk is, Rhodes also warns that it's important not to forget to be mindful while taking part in it. "Many people, especially men, seem to think that dirty talk is just about sexually explicit language," she says. "The choice of words can make the difference between dirty talk that leads to amazing sexual experiences and dirty talk that sounds like a bad porno script." Dirty talk is about the two (or however many — whatever floats your boat!) people engaging in it. It "is the ultimate test of someone’s true seduction skills," Rhodes continues. "It is not about your sexual fantasy as it is in finding the words that unlock your partner’s fantasy."
At the end of the day, dirty talk is what you choose to make of it. But according to Rhodes, "There is no place for selfishness when engaging in dirty talk — you need to follow each other’s lead in order to have fun." Dirty talk is good for the body and the mind, and science has proven it! So get on with your bad self and have some fun!