If Your SO Thinks You’re Embarrassing, Here's How You'll Know
It's sad and kind of icky to think that your special someone may be embarrassed of you. Being in a relationship is like being on a team: You want what's best for each other and you're proud to be connected. Nevertheless, there may come a time when you feel your significant other is embarrassed of you. Maybe they didn't bring you to their work party, they tease to the point of negging, or they can't seem to commit to making plans for the future. Whatever the reason, if you're started to feel excluded or not celebrated, it may be time for a check in.
"Ask them why they seem to be exhibiting behaviors that makes it seem as if they are embarrassed by you," Relationship and Wellbeing Coach Shula Melamed MA, MPH, tells Elite Daily. "Are their behaviors a by-product of being socially anxious, because of some sort of internalized personal shame or are they actually embarrassed?"
If you're feeling a disconnect from your partner, you may start to feel like they are embarrassed of you, even if they're just navigating their own social hangups. But, if you're really feeling like your significant other is embarrassed by you, here are a few signs that it might be time to talk about it.
01They don't invite you out with their friends.
If you feel like the people in your significant other's life don't know who you are, it could mean that your partner hasn't talked about your relationship. If your partner brings you down when you're at a party, or doesn't want to be seen with you, it may be time for a chat.
"They don't bring you around friends or family, no one know about you or has any idea what your role is in your significant others' life," Melamed says. "They cut you off when you are speaking when you are around other people. They insist that you are not seen in public together."
Of course, your partner could love you endlessly but not be a strong verbal communicator, or maybe they didn't know that you would want to go to their family dinner, and didn't mean to not invite you. If you're starting to feel ignored, take time to check in about where you both are at.
02You haven't met their family.
If you've been dating for a while and haven't met your partner's family, you may start to wonder why. If you are close to your family, and your partner has met them, you may have the desire to be introduced to the people who raised your boo.
"It isn't a great sign," Melamed says. "This would definitely be something to ask them about directly — if they minimize your feelings about this that is a major red flag."
Your partner may have a tense relationship with their family, and may not feel comfortable bringing their partners home, or maybe they don't think you'd want to meet their parents. If you speak with your partner, and they validate your feelings and express why they haven't introduced you to their family, it may ease your discomfort. However, your partner reduces your feelings or doesn't actively listen when you express that you want to meet their family, it could mean that they don't want you to meet the fam. In either case, try to express how you that makes you feel. Don't be afraid to be direct and state your needs.
03They don't post about you.
If your boo is all over your Insta, and they haven't posted about you, it's easy to feel rejected. However, Melamed attests that your presence on your boo's social media isn't an end-all be-all.
"Everyone has different levels of comfort posting about their personal life on social media," Melamed says. "If they don't post about your relationship on social media and they are also hiding you from the world/their world IRL that's more indicative of a problem."
Of course, everyone has their own social media practices, so no need to jump to conclusions without chatting about it first. But if you feel your boo is hiding you IRL, that may mean more than a lack of #couplegoals Instas. "I would seriously question why you would want to be in a relationship with someone who pretends not to know you in person," Melamed says. If you find your partner ignores you in person, try talking to them about how their actions make you feel, and what they could be doing to support you. If talking about it doesn't work, and you find your partner's actions are still hurting you, it may be worthwhile to consider moving on.
If you feel like your partner is embarrassed of you, try talking to them about the ways that they can make you feel more supported and loved. You are an amazing shining star, and you deserve to be with someone who is proud to call you their partner. If your significant other isn't making you feel strong and supported and doesn't realize how awesome you are, honestly, that's kind of embarrassing for them.
