When You Stop Looking For Love & Focus On Yourself, Here's What Could Happen, According To 9 Women
If you're a 20-something living in a big city like me, dating can feel like a near-impossible task. Are we exclusive? What does this text mean? Where is this going? There are so many questions constantly on your mind. So, it's no wonder that some people get fed up with all the intricacies of the dating world and sometimes decide they need a break. These nine women did, and in a Reddit AskWomen thread, they shared what could happen if you stop looking for love and just focus on yourself.
The end of a relationship, even if it wasn't officially a relationship, can be devastating. If you're not used to it, being single can seem like a terrible thing at first. You may not be able to stop thinking about a little inside joke you shared with your former partner, and miss the midday texts you got from them at work. Maybe they gave you a kiss every time you woke up together, and now, only a shrill sound of an alarm clock creates a void you can't fill. You may be swiping endlessly on multiple dating apps trying to find someone to be with so you can get those moments back. But being single doesn't have to be so gloomy and grim. In fact, it may bring about a lot of opportunities you otherwise wouldn't have had.
It Feels Good To Stop Caring
I found I got much happier because suddenly the pressure of finding anyone, worrying if they found me attractive or were just using me was gone
She Got Herself
I got my Masters Degree.
Maybe They're What Makes You Miserable In The First Place
Depression and anxiety left the chat.
This One Got Her Creative Juices Flowing
I wrote my first novel. Then I wrote a bunch more. And very few people care, but I'm still really happy I wrote them.
Don't Underestimate The Breakup Glowup
I cut my hair into a pixie cut and did whatever I wanted.
You Can't Be Bothered With Societal Expectations
I discovered that animals are better company than people and I'm just not cut out for relationships, friendships, interacting with others beyond superficial acquaintances and I'm not cut out to be a mother.
If You're Desperate To Be With Someone, You May Overlook Some Things You Shouldn't
I stopped making mistakes. Meaning, when I saw a big red flag I wouldn't overlook it anymore, I'd just walk away. It's saved me a lot of stress to be able to love myself enough to not worry 'if I walk away now, how long will it take before I find someone else?' I just enjoy everything so much more now.
You're A Free Agent, You Can Go Wherever You Want
I got a job offer for a London-based office (I'm Australian) and I'll be moving over to the UK in a couple of months, which I'm super excited about. It is also really nice not having to consult anybody in regards to my move (my ex would have never moved over to the UK with me, he wasn't interested in living abroad) and I feel like me going out and doing things on my own when I used to do everything with my ex, has made me a much more confident person and I'm satisfied with being single now.
And As Cliché As It Is, You May Get All You Want When You Stop Looking For It
I found love. Seriously, I stopped, focused on doing the stuff I love and I found my husband.
Filtering truly good people from those who don't deserve your company is harder today than ever — even Chrissy Teigen thinks so. While being alone for awhile might feel scary at first, there's so much out there that you can discover on your own. Taking some time to focus on yourself might just be the best thing you've ever done.