Running into your ex when you’re least expecting can be bad enough. But the anticipation of knowing you’ll have to see them, whether it’s at a mutual friend's party you were both invited to or in a class you both registered for, is arguably more brutal. On the bright side, you’re able to prepare yourself before seeing them face to face. And coming up with some positive affirmations can be an immensely beneficial part of your preparation process. The mantras to recite when you know you're going to see an ex should be equal parts self-validating, empowering, and reassuring.
If you’re wondering WTF a mantra is, these self-soothing sayings are intended to help you shift your attitude and mindset. Which mantras you choose to adopt will depend largely on how your breakup went down, and where you stand with your ex now. The phrase that resonates most deeply with you will differ if you just split a month ago and you still have lingering feelings for your ex, versus if you parted ways years back and have already moved on with new people.
But regardless of your specific circumstances, these mantras can all apply. If you’re prepping yourself to see your ex, try repeating these phrases in the days leading up to the dreaded encounter to replace your panic with feelings of strength and sheer serenity.
"I Am Thriving, And It Shows"
Making it a point to say this mantra will give you the boost of self-confidence you deserve because TBH, you are crushing it. And whether your ex vocally acknowledges it to you or not, rest assured they’ll definitely be able to see it.
"I Have Nothing To Prove"
When you know you’re going to see an ex, it can be tempting to fall into the trap of needing to demonstrate how absolutely fabulous your life is. Flexing on your ex might mean obsessing over putting together the perfect outfit to make their jaw drop, bringing a cute date just to make them jealous, or throwing your head back in exaggerated laughter during every conversation when you spot them nearby.
Here's the thing: Feeling the need to make a point only gives your ex power over you. So, remember that you have nothing to prove to them, because you know you’re doing just fine, and that’s all that matters.
"My Life Is Full Of Love"
If you know your ex is in a relationship, or worse, you're going to be seeing them with their new boo, this mantra may prove super strengthening. Encountering your ex with someone else can remind you of the love you lost, which is why it’s so important to remind yourself of all the other love you’ve gained, whether from new friends and coworkers or someone you’ve just started dating.
That’s not to say that your relationship with them didn’t mean something to you, and that their love wasn’t valuable to you at one point in time. But rather than focusing on the love that isn’t available to you anymore, repeat this mantra to help you appreciate all of the other love you receive.
“All Of My Feelings Are Valid And Worthy"
As you approach seeing your ex, be easy on yourself if you’re struggling with some negative emotions. It’s not only normal to grapple with some intrusive thoughts and painful feelings, but it’s actually healthy to let yourself experience them fully, so that ultimately, you can let them go. In a way, saying this mantra is a way of giving yourself permission to feel all the feels without any self-judgment.
Telling yourself that you “should” be over them, or you “should” be able to move on from these difficult emotions may only make seeing your ex even worse, because that line of thinking perpetuates guilt and shame. Instead, show yourself compassion and kindness as you bravely face this challenging scenario.
"I Am At Peace With My Past"
While experiencing regret is a natural, understandable part of the human experience, it’s also kind of useless, TBH. Seeing your ex again can definitely trigger feelings of regret, whether about things you said or didn’t say, or things you did or didn’t do. But giving in to those thoughts can make it impossible to live in the present, and repeating this mantra before seeing your ex might help you avoid obsessing over the past.
Seeing an ex can obviously be a triggering experience, bringing on a complex wave of emotions that range from sadness and desire to regret and resentment. While riding that wave, it’s easy to get lost in the undertow, and that's where your mantras come in. Repeating these simple phrases allows you to recenter yourself and feel instantly more grounded, which is exactly the state you want to be in when you have to face a former flame.