OK, so your partner just broke up with you, and you're really sensitive and heartbroken. I get it. But, I'm here to tell you this is actually great. As much as getting dumped hurts (sh*t, it really hurts), it can lead to a whole new chapter for you. Don't get me wrong, though. I remember, in detail, every devastating breakup I've been through, but I also can cite exactly how they all changed me for the better. I know it sounds like some self-help BS, because when you get dumped, crawling into a human-size hole can sound better than the "coming out on the other side" part.
That's why you need to figure out how to cope. My not-so-tried-and-true method of chewing the ear off of literally anyone who would listen seems to be ill-suited. Instead, coping should empower and enrich you, while helping you not dwell on you-know-who. (Talking about what a jerk they are is still dwelling, people.) Reforming a healthy sense of self is super imperative when it comes to combating that roller coaster of emotion (and physical ailments) that is being broken up with. The things you're totally allowed to do (and might even need to do) to heal might come off as odd, but listening to what you need, even if it sounds weird to others, is what will help get you through it in the end.
Here are some examples of things you're totally allowed to do to cope with a breakup. Choose your strategy, according to your cravings.
1. Laugh A Little
While it is endlessly tempting to hole up in a dark room post-breakup and listen to hours of sad emo music from your teenage years, give yourself permission to laugh, too. After I've gone through a breakup, I know I can almost feel like I'm betraying my own emotions if I spend too much time out of sulking.
But really, laughter is just a part of healing — an important one, at that. So marathon lots of funny movies, hang out with your funniest friends, go to a comedy show, or even join an improv class.
2. Create A Burn Book
Maybe Regina George was on to something. While it's totally not cool to victimize innocent peers (or anyone, for that matter), writing out all your feelings about your ex could serve as a form of therapy. Some might say that would classify as a diary or journal, but calling it a burn book is just so much more fun.
3. Remove Yourself From The Situation
Having dated and broken up many a time in NYC, the entire city has become a minefield for me. Not only is every neighborhood lined with spots that I associate with exes, but I literally run into my exes all the time. (You try avoiding someone on an off-peak L train.) Getting out of town after a breakup might sound like a lavish response, but sometimes, you need to remove yourself from all of those reminders in order to start moving on.
4. Call Your Parents
Sometimes, mother and father really do know best. While you might be too prideful to go to them in most situations, or you might feel like a little kid doing so, being dumped is one of those cases where the unconditional love and support of your parents can really help.
Whatever you do to cope with being dumped, know that it is totally OK (unless it is malicious or vengeful or harmful to you — that's not advised). Breakups can be really hard on us, so take the time to do what is best for you.
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