When You Feel Hopeless About Finding Love, These Experts Have Some Good Advice For You
Depending on where you are in your own personal journey to find love, let's just say we all know that it can be pretty difficult to stay positive when things aren't exactly going your way. But the good news is that you are so not alone. At one point or another, pretty much every single person has has felt discouraged over what feels like dismal luck when it comes to love. Feeling hopeless about finding love is not only normal, but in my opinion, it's one of the necessary phases of life that will make your eventual triumph feel that much more amazing.
While it can be tempting to roll your eyes at people when they tell you not to lose hope and that love will find you when you least expect it, the truth is that we have no idea when true love will strike. So instead of worrying about it, why not spend some time making sure that, when true love does come, you are ready to make the most of it? To help you do that, Elite Daily talked to a few experts to get their advice on the best ways to cope when you're losing hope about finding love and some productive steps you can take in the right direction.
1. Find The Best Approach For You
According to dating expert and relationship writer Demetrius Figueroa, finding love may involve different steps depending on what type of person you are.
"Figure out a way to search for love that works for you," Figueroa tells Elite Daily. "I think that if people place more value in dating the way that they want to date, they’ll find that, whether they find love today, tomorrow, next month or next year, the search becomes a little less arduous if you’re doing so in a way that softens the negatives you experience in your search."
If dating apps don't feel good to you, then Figueroa recommends ditching them and finding another method that works better. Maybe that's joining a Meetup group or partaking in an activity that will bring you together with likeminded people.
2. Accept That Finding Love Will Absolutely Take Time
While not finding love can sometimes make us feel like there is something wrong on a personal level, this is almost never true! No matter who you are, there are plenty of people out there that you could be happy with. You just need to find them. Bestselling author and relationship coach Susan Winter encourages love seekers to focus on the big picture.
"Very few individuals find their mate right away. Those cases are the exception, and not the rule," Winter tells Elite Daily. "Most of us need to use the rigors of dating in order to refine our 'must-haves' and recognize our best match in a partner. Though dating is a matter of trial and error, the one being educated is us. Each time we meet a new person and interact with a romantic prospect, we're getting closer to clarifying our ultimate 'love model.' That clarity quickens the process of attracting and recognizing our best match."
3. Focus On Being Your Best Self
"While you're on your own, spend the time working on yourself," suggests Love Coach and host of Ready for Love Radio, Nikki Leigh. There are plenty of other things to enjoy in life that don't revolve around love. Focusing on what you don't have simply isn't productive, but shifting the focus to how you can be your most amazing self and make you happiest certainly is.
"We can always learn more about ourselves, what we want and need in a partner, what we have to offer a partner, what our boundaries are in our life and relationships, and most importantly, how to love, accept and respect ourselves," Leigh tells Elite Daily. "That should be our first priority. Then, we're better able to love, accept and respect a partner who deserves our love and respect."
At the end of the day, pressing pause and not getting caught up in the feelings of negativity brought on by not having a partner is much easier said than done. But realizing that it's less of a sprint and more of a marathon can really help take some of the pressure off, so keep your head up.
Check out the entire Gen Why series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.
Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more stories just like this!