If You're Feeling Hopeless In Finding Love, Take Some Advice From These Women

by Candice Jalili

Even for the most hopeless romantic in the world, trying to find love can feel totally hopeless after a while. All it takes is one bad breakup, a few bad dating app dates, and one jerk from college ghosting you to convince anyone that the pursuit just isn't worth it. TBH, any one of those things and more could easily make you feel like you'll never find love.

While love will find all of us in different ways eventually, it's normal to feel dejected about the journey every once in a while. A recent Reddit thread asked ladies to share their own personal experiences with the times they gave up on love. So if you're at this point in your life, take some firsthand advice from these women who've been there. You might just start feeling a little less hopeless.

Giving up made her realize she can be herself.

I’ve given up.
I found I got much happier because suddenly the pressure of finding anyone, worrying if they found me attractive or were just using me was gone.
I realised I can just be me and that makes me feel pretty good.


She met her husband a week after giving up.

100% going to be single for the rest of my life.
Met my now husband a week ish later


She finds it lonely at times, but it's mostly a good thing for her.

I don't know if it can be called giving up if you never even tried and I'm still relatively young to talk about endings but so far I think having one less thing to worry about is the best alternative. There's that extra bagagge I don't have to carry and wounds I haven't suffered. It might get lonely at times but it's good otherwise.


As soon as she gave up, she found love with a FWB.

I’m married now so I guess I didn’t fully give up, but I think I did in my early 20s. I had dated enough sh*t heads and been taken advantage of by enough assh*les. So I decided my rules, my way. I started only having FWB and would dictate when that ended too. Basically I was afraid of getting hurt and at the same time didn’t think there were any good guys left. Anyways, I fell in love with one of my FWB (now hubby). Even if you think you’ve given up, your heart does what it wants, even when you least expect it. At least in my case.


She can't stand the thought of meeting someone right now.

I have given up finding love.
I have had so many people just treat me badly and I was especially burnt by the last one. I am left wondering if I can trust anybody, if anyone sees me other than a sex object.
I am a highly sexual person and I am sure that is to my detriment. But just because I am highly sexed does not mean I do not want love or romance. I do. But at the moment, I don't see it happening and I have been scared off by past experience that at the moment, I cannot even bring myself to meet anybody.


She devoted her time to other interests.

Yes. I am 100% convince that there’s no one out there for me that will ever be able to love me. Sounds sad but it’s really not. I stopped dating and just focused on my self. I am focused in my career, in school, in being healthy and looking good.


Giving up on love inspired her to spend time on herself.

After a really rough breakup (2+ years ago), I've given up. Focusing on myself and becoming who I want to be has been very fulfilling. I haven't met anyone yet - but I hope it'll just happen one day and don't worry about it too much.
Working on loving myself has been awesome :)


She met someone absolutely "incredible" as soon as she gave up.

As soon as I gave up, I happened to meet the most incredible man.


She held out until she found the perfect person.

I didn’t really give up, but I stopped gunning for it. I think one key thing is that I just did me for a while but I still did stuff that go me out there meeting new people periodically. Not saying that you can’t get together with someone you see a lot, but meeting new people helps.
I’m glad I held it out. I met a great guy that even if we aren’t together forever, it’s been a great experience.


She always has it in the back of her mind.

Not sure if given up is the right word. Stopped actively looking, yes. Deactivated dating apps. Gave up shaving my legs. Things I did just in case, I don't do unless I'm in the mood now. Have other things to focus on but it would be a lie if it doesn't hang out in the back of my mind sometimes.


Can I just make one suggestion for you? Maybe don't call it "giving up" on love. I know I don't personally know you, but you're not a quitter! Just take the time to focus on yourself and enjoy the process, rather than making finding love your top priority. Who knows? Love just might happen to find you during that process?

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